I've been having those weird flashbacks again. I can't exactly explain what's going on. I've never experienced anything like this before. Who would have thought that a world-renowned web columnist would have the ability to channel columns from past lives? Well I'm not one to challenge the forces of the universe…I must go with the flow…let the voices inside of me take control…here we go again…must recite mantra…wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off…

Let me tell you the life of an apprentice to the tribes shaman can get pretty boring. I mean sure its preparation for an exciting future career in tribal medicine but do I really have to be delegated to these menial and mundane tasks? Every morning at the crack of dawn I'm awakened in my tent by the sounds of our wise old shaman screaming out my name. "Running Mouth! Running Mouth! Running Mouth where are you?! There are tasks to be completed! I'm still waiting for that tree bark I asked you for yesterday! These ointments for buffalo rash are not going to make themselves!" It's the same thing everyday. I mean I love our shaman to death. You couldn't ask for a better medicine man than good old Jumping Beaver, but I mean give me a break. It's the same thing everyday. "Running Mouth I need eagle's eggs. Running Mouth find me some strawberries. Badger claws Running Mouth! Where are they?" Do you know how hard it is to get badger claws? It ain't easy let me tell you. This whole routine is starting to become extremely tedious. I'm beginning to wonder if tribal medicine is really where I want to be? Maybe I should think about getting into pelt tanning or buffalo hunting? But then these occupations don't really spark my interest either. I'm totally confused. I resolve to ask the Great Spirits for advice. Show me Great Spirits! Give me a sign! Anything! Then, like a beacon of sunlight shining through a dark grey cloud I saw my future laid out in front of me.

I couldn't believe my eyes. As I sat there in front of the expanse of the never-ending lake I saw the biggest canoe I had ever seen in my entire life and it was coming right towards me. I stood there motionless, mouth agape and watched as strange individuals entered smaller canoes and began rowing themselves to the shore. I immediately ran back home to tell everyone the news. At first no one believed me. After many minutes of convincing Chief Wise Owl that I hadn't been eating too many wild mushrooms I was able to bring my fellow tribesmen to the shore. And there they were. The most unusual Indians I had ever seen in my entire life. They were pale as the fallen snow and spoke in a language that I could barely comprehend. Chief Wise Owl attempted to speak to them but was unable to generate a dialogue with our new visitors. After many minutes the "pale face" as I liked to call them began making broad gestures with his hands in an effort to communicate. He slowly pointed out towards our land in broad strokes and brought his hands toward his chest. He kept repeating this gesture over and over again and followed this by giving Chief Wise Owl handfuls of multicolored baubles and beads. Chief Wise Owl didn't seem to understand this gesture but I sure did! They were giving us a gift of welcome! Essentially from what I could gather is that these newcomers were thanking us for allowing them to stay on our land until they could gather supplies and move onto an uninhabited territory. At the tribal meeting that night Chief Wise Owl had a different idea. He was dubious about their intentions. He thought it could only mean bad things for the tribe. I couldn't believe it?! What was he talking about?! Has he finally gone blind in his other eye? For the first time in my life I stood up in front of the tribal elders and spoke. I explained how this could only mean good things for our tribe and that these newcomers posed no threat to our lifestyle but were a fantastic opportunity to grow as a tribe. If we took the time to show them the ways of the land, find them a nice spot to settle down we could easily live in harmony for the rest of our lives! I mean come on they gave us bright shiny beads for crying out loud! How could their intentions be anything but good?

Well I guess my impassioned words seem to ring true with my chieftain because he decided that we should give these people a chance. The very next day we made our way down to our settlement and offered our hand in friendship. The "pale faces" seemed very pleased with this transaction and passed out even more handfuls of shiny beads. Sweet! I took it upon myself to show these people everything about us and the land they now inhabited. I showed them some primo spots that they could settle on that wouldn't interfere with our native traditions. Although they don't seem to be ready to move on quite yet, I am patient. Give them some time. I mean they just got here. I can only see good things coming of this. A beautiful symbiotic relationship where two cultures can learn, love and grow stronger…together. Besides look at all these shiny beads I got now! Whoo hoo! Welcome new friends! Welcome!

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