I believe I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to be a weatherman. Think about it…this may very well be the easiest job on the planet. You never have to be right. Better yet, you are never held accountable for providing incorrect information. "It's going to rain tomorrow…or maybe not, perhaps let's say it will be…cloudy with a chance of flurries? Sure, why not?" Just imagine the freedom in this. How liberating would that be? Never once will you be reprimanded for screwing up. You will never hear of a weatherman being pulled into his boss's office the next day to be scolded about forecasting the wrong weather.

"Close the door Anderson. Yup, close it behind you. We are all about due diligence here at the station, you know that. I have to say, your performance lately has been completely unacceptable. Twice this week, twice, you have said it was going to rain and…well, it hasn't. And then on Thursday you mentioned it was going to be cloudy with sunny breaks. Where were the sunny breaks Anderson? I'll tell ya where….errr not…here. Cause there were no sunny breaks! But you led our audience to believe this and we just can't have that. So straighten up or you are fired!"

In any other profession if we were to deliver erroneous data or a faulty service on a regular basis we would be fired. No questions asked. But weathermen can constantly provide incorrect forecasts and never be faulted for it. Let's be honest, a lot of meteorology is based on prediction, hence the term weather FORECAST, so in essence a large part of their job is guessing. Now many other occupations skill sets are rooted in estimating and presupposing such as accounting or advertising yet nowhere else but in weather forecasting is there no consequences for these wrong conjectures. If your estimates are off in accounting, not good. If your projections are wrong in advertising, that's bad. If you forecast the weather incorrectly…oh well, try again tomorrow. How great is that? Being a weatherman is the anti-perfectionist person's dream! Detail oriented folks need not apply. Where do I sign up?

Upon entry into the field of meteorology, the first thing I will charge myself with is eliminating some of the annoying idiosyncrasies that plague weather reporting. Like for example, why do they insist on telling us what the barometric pressure is? Who in the world needs to know this besides weathermen? More so, who even knows what the hell a barometric pressure is? Let alone a good barometric pressure? What level of pressure should we be holding out for exactly? "Looks like a perfect day Marjorie…oh wait, look at the barometric pressure. Dear lord it's 102.0 kPa. Get the kids in the house…NOW!"

Another thing that bothers me about the weather report is the discussion of wind chill. I have never understood this. "It's going to be -10 out and -35 with wind chill". So if I understand this correctly, you are saying there is going to be wind and with this wind it's going to feel like -35. Just so I am clear, if there was no wind it would be -10, but if there is wind, which you are saying there is, it will be -35. So why don't you just say today is going to be windy and -35? If I am going to be outdoors how am I not going to be affected by the wind? Why are we breaking this out for two circumstances? "For those that are in alleyways or standing behind walls today it will feel like -10, but for the rest of us it will be -35". An even better solution, when we are in the -20 ranges people don't care about specifics anymore, just say its friggin' cold outside.

Don't worry though this will all be fixed once I become a weatherman.

Yes friends, you heard it here first. I must become a weatherman. My purpose in life has finally been made clear. Or partly cloudy….

Like it matters.

…but that's just my opinion.

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