I have a morbid fascination with infomercials. Well maybe “morbid fascination” is a bit too strong of a term. Whether it’s late at night or early Sunday morning and I’m rapidly changing channels looking for something, anything to watch just to pass the time, I always stumble across these half hour pitch fests for a product that’s going to change my life forever. Now I don’t know the reason why my remote trigger finger tends to hesitate when one of these infomercials pops up. But for some strange reason I have to stop for a moment or two. Some irresistible curiosity comes over me and I have to find out a little information on this revolutionary new product that will help me lose weight, smell better or enable me to filet ordinary aluminum cans with ease.

All infomercials follow pretty much the same formula. Perky host, over the top testimonials from satisfied customers and numerous examples of the product performing its particular function without a hiccup. The script writers for all these shows tend to share similar adjectives and phrases. Amazing! Time saving! Miracle! Only pennies a day! And that’s not all! But wait there’s more! The infomercial does not exist in the real world. It’s a half hour surreal existence in a place where everyone is happy, everything is super and nothing goes wrong.

I like to watch these over the top, shiny toothed pitchmen sell their wonder product to the masses. Their valiant attempts to prove to you that you would have to be certifiably insane not to call that toll free number on the screen amuses me. Their whole car salesman attitude and insincere sales pitches although somewhat entertaining, tends to dissuade me for seriously considering purchasing their remarkable product. But one late evening of watching one of these formulaic sales pitches on the boob tube, I had a very strange thought. What if they were telling the truth? What if beyond all the flash and less than bona fide testimonials this product was the genuine article? That possibly, I could be missing out on the wonder product of my generation. Or even worse, what if all infomercials were telling the truth?