January 19th, 2004

All right, Mr. DeMille its 2004, I'm ready for my close-up!!!

Let's dish shall we?

Where do we start? Hmmm…did Michael Jackson just moonwalk into the courtroom?

Jackson pleads innocent to child molestation charge
Wow, well that's a surprise. Did anyone actually think he was going to claim he was guilty? God no, that wouldn't be too smart would it Jacko? We'll have to let the courts settle this one. It is nice to see that they have appointed a stern judge to hear and decide this case. And not some hand picked cream puff who would be willing to rollover due to the defendants level of fame. For example, when Jackson showed up 20 minutes late to the first hearing because he was greeting fans, Judge Melville cracked the whip exclaiming "I want to advise you that I will not put up with that. It's an insult to this court." You tell him Melville! He showed up late to a major, potentially life altering court case? I don't care if you are innocent or are the so called king of pop, you still follow the rules. Your celebrity status doesn't put you above the process of the law okay MJ? Apparently, the twenty minute delay included Jackson dancing atop his SUV and inviting a number of fans to join him at his Neverland retreat. Shortly after, Michael's attorneys advised him that he may have not wanted to scream "Bring your kids! Bring the kids okay…you'll bring 'em right?"

R. Kelly in talks over broadway version of Rocky
Singer R. Kelly has expressed interest in composing the score for a potential new musical based on Sylvester Stallone's film Rocky. The Twilight Zone will be back right after these messages.

Mariah faces Malaysian ban
Muslims in Malaysia are calling for singer Mariah Carey to be banned from performing in the country because she's too vulgar. This ban is a first for the diva as all other countries that have previously prohibited her from playing have done it simply because she sucks royally.

McEnroe to become talk show host
Former tennis star John McEnroe is getting his own prime time talk show. Why? Honestly…why? Really…why?

No, I am serious…why in the blue hell is John McEnroe getting his own prime time talk show? Why…?

I am still waiting…why? Why? Why? Why?

Britney blames thrill of Vegas for wedding
Thrill of Vegas. That'll do it. Those shots give me the worse hangovers too.

ZING! Take that Hollywood.

...but that's just my opinion.

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