October 19th, 2003

Everybody dumps on Hollywood
They wanna fake it in the neighborhood
They hate the smell of it in Hollywood
How couldn’t it hurt you when it looks so good

Let’s dish shall we?

Where do we start? Hmmm…does Beyonce have something on her mind?

God is okay with Beyonce’s skimpy attire
Singer/actress Beyonce Knowles, a devout Christian, says that it is okay with God if she strips onstage and wears scanty clothing. Little curious which part of the bible supports this? The gospel according to Madonna? “Thou shall strip and heave bosom where and whenever possible.” God is fine with this? That is great. Did he let her know this through some sort of divine vision? And there was God, standing only in his underwear proclaiming ”Beyonce my child. Continue this path of stripping for it will lead you to the gates of heaven. Dress scantily clad whenever possible my daughter and continue to sing my praises. Please find it in your heart to reform with Destiny’s Child and release a new album sometime in early 2004. Oh yeah, one more thing my most precious of fruit…we are going to have to talk about your relationship with Jay Z ? This HOVA character I feel is not filled with the holy spirit. Have you considered the lead singer from Creed?”

Stone Temple Pilot’s Scott Weiland files for divorce
The 35-year-old singer said that he's divorcing Mary Weiland, with whom he has two children, because of irreconcilable differences. Sources say she wasn’t doing enough heroin for his liking.

Bennifer reappears
Ben Affleck and almost-bride Jennifer Lopez recently made their first formal appearance in Beverly Hills at an awards gala, their first since calling off their planned September wedding. Are they getting married or not? Are they together or not? Can these two please make up their mind already? I am getting tired of hating them.

XXX sequel to go ahead without Vin Diesel
Yaaaa, no more Vin Diesel! Booo, more XXX. I feel rather conflicted. Is it possible to be incredibly happy and sad at the exact same moment?

Yoko Ono says Lennon’s spirit is watching over her
Can someone find this woman a date please? Anything, just get Yoko out of the house is all we are asking. No offense honey, we all loved John Lennon…but its time to move on me thinks. Have you thought about Lavalife or something?

Donna Summers writes autobiography
Singer Donna Summers is currently writing her own autobiography which will recount all of her success in the music industry. The book is rumored to be four pages long.
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Zing! Take that Hollywood!

...but that’s just my opinion.

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