January 27th 2003
Now available: It's the hard to find double sized, collectors edition, chromium cover, 12th issue anniversary spectacular. (Featuring an introduction by: Dennis Miller) *The first 12 copies are signed by creator Michael DiGiovanni using a mixture of his own blood, sweat, and tears!
Let's dish shall we?
Where do we start? Hmmm…is that R. Kelly diddling over there again?
R. Kelly up on porn charges again
Singer R. Kelly was charged on 12 counts of possession of child pornography recently in Florida. A statement issued by Kelly's representative, Allan Mayer, called the arrest "a classic case of piling on, in which a local jurisdiction tries to make headlines by attaching itself to a celebrity case." Yes, that is it. Our law enforcement clearly has nothing better to do other then picking on poor R. Kelly. They are just doing it for kicks. It has nothing to do with the fact that Mr. Kelly is a pedophile and seems to enjoy leaving evidence exploiting this particular fetish everywhere across the country. Listen Allan, your client is guilty…accept it. You have saddled yourself with a loser. Can't win 'em all Mr. Mayer.
Gremlins star arrested
Gremlins star Zach Galligan was arrested in West Hollywood after he was caught stealing a Deep Purple CD. This story raises a lot of interesting questions. First of all, can we fairly classify Zach Galligan as a star? Galligan is more of a personality, someone we remember faintly from a film past a la Steve Guttenberg. Secondly, what exactly was Zach Galligan doing in West Hollywood? Did he get lost? Was there a comic-geekcon there on the weekend? Or perhaps did McDonalds give him a transfer to be the head fry guy in West Hollywood? But the most amazing nugget out of this is who would have thought that the lead in Gremlins would have been a Deep Purple fan? Smokeeeee…on the water….fire in the sky! Damn…maybe Zach ain't too bad? Mr. Galligan I have a little advice for you…I know you haven't worked since the eighties but we have this thing now called the INTERNET. Get one of your friends that lives in this decade to school you on it. Silly gremlin, you could have downloaded MP3's of Deep Purples' Machine Head instead of pulling a Winona!
Rap star Nelly's new single Air Force One
I said give me two pair
(cause) I need two pair
So I can get to stompin in my air force ones
(Big boys) stompin in my air force ones
What in the name of hell is this crap? I will tell you what it is…this is the most shameless bit of marketing I have ever seen in my entire life. For those that aren't quite getting it, Nelly and his lunatics are rhymin' about running shoes. Friggin' running shoes. What is next, Creed doing a power ballad about mutual funds? I hope Nike paid you a truckload of money Mr. Bandaid face…because this is the biggest sellout job in recent memory. Rapping about running shoes…good lord!
Jackie Chan admits to using stunt doubles
You lied to me!!!!!!! You lied to me!!!!! The magic is gone…! Never again will I be able to watch one of your shitty movies the same way.
Six Million Dollar Man sues for more money
Lee Majors is suing Universal Television for allegedly shortchanging him on profits from the Six Million Dollar Man. Seeing as how the show left the airwaves in 1978 many are confused why Majors waited so long to file suit. I think it might have something to do with the bionic man being dirty ass broke! Lee doesn't need bionic enhancements to understand that money tends to dry up when people don't work. Sure in 1978 it was the Six Million Dollar Man…but for the past decade or so, it's been Lee Majors the Six Dollar and Change Man. The guy needs to eat!
Bachelor Movie Planned
Hollywood is officially out…no it is not even worth the breath.
Zing! Take that Hollywood!
…but that's just my opinion.
Do you Agree with what he's saying?
Tell Us HERE
or mail to:michael@boldopinion.com
