Is it just me or has there been a rash of student-teacher romances in the past few years? It almost seems like a cyclical thing, like every couple of months you're guaranteed a news story that documents the forbidden romance between teacher and student. I mean you've got your tornado-trailer park stories, local man attempts to enter Guinness Book Of World Records, 108 year old veteran celebrates surviving another year and the student-teacher romance. The question I ask myself is…where the hell were these teachers when I was in high school? Obviously this article has already taken a strong male slant to this topic and before I get a lot of angry letters about child abuse, let me set the record straight. Male teachers who prey on young teenage girls should be drawn and quartered. It's bad enough that these burgeoning young females should have to contend with spastic teenage boys let alone grown men with some kind of "Lolita" fantasy. Unacceptable behaviour and should be punished with the strictest penalty the law will allow. But to continue with my quest to reinforce a double standard, as far as female teacher and male student relations go, I'm all for it. What's the problem? I can't even begin to count the amount of fantasy filled dreams I had about teachers during high school. If my 10th grade French teacher were to ask me to stay after school and help her sort out some textbooks…BAM!...that's when the dream sequence begins. Magical clouds, berets-a-plenty, red wine and my teacher wearing a tight black skirt, high heels and smoking a cigarette with one of those incredibly long filters. Who cares if she asked about three other people to help as well, what counted most was that she asked me personally. Nothing could stop me from answering in my most masculine, yet awkward, voice possible. "Ah no….URP…problem there...Uhh…Mademoiselle Partridge…heh…heh." But what happens to these caring individuals who are willing to help jump start a young man's journey into manhood? I'll tell you what, they're put in jail! These poor individuals are driven directly to the "big house" so that they may never poison another innocent soul again. And how does this happen? Who's the one who blows the whistle on these illicit affairs? Well I'll tell you one thing, it sure ain't the student that's for damn sure. Can you imagine this conversation? "Please Ms.Blumgarden, I'm only sixteen years old, the last thing I'd ever want to do is fondle your breasts, now if you'll excuse me, Mother is outside in the car waiting…Goodbye!" Of course not. It's the parents. Once they find out, it's all over. Mother doesn't understand the valuable tutelage her son is receiving and Dad's all jealous that his son is bagging a 30 year old. So off to jail she goes that painted jezebel! All the while she's have Sloppy Joes for lunch every day, trying to rehabilitate herself, what's poor little Jimmy doing back at home? Talking to grief counselors? No. Trying to come to grip with these strange new feelings? Ummm…no. Trying to gain a new perspective through bible study? Definitely not. I can pretty much guarantee that little Jimmy's been braggin' non-stop to as many people as possible about how he got to third base with his typing teacher.
It's just not fair. I mean granted it's an unusual situation. Older woman, much younger man. Both individuals taking advantage of their relatively identical points of their sexual peaks. But does it really deserve jail time or the total destruction of a young woman's career? Banished from teaching for life?! Of course not. In many of these cases it's purely a witch hunt and details are misconstrued to the point that the truth doesn't even exist anymore. I see these cases as being a victimless crime. I mean who's really losing in this situation when the secret romance is broken up? They each must have gotten something out of the incident(s). I mean I'm sure both parties are richer for the experience in one shape or form or another. Or maybe I'm just jealous. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to check some of the local colleges for some night courses…let's see…Introduction to French 101…hmmm.
Got Something You wanna say to this Guy? Say it Here!
or mail to:christian@boldopinion.com
