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The
world is filled with culinary delights. As a world-renowned web columnist,
I have had the luxurious opportunity to travel the globe and sample some
of the greatest examples of fine cuisine this planet has to offer. I look
back at my many travels and relish the various food experiences that I've
had. I'll never forget the time I spent in Los Angeles. I was invited by
the renowned restaurateur and chef, Wolfgang Puck to dine at his world famous
restaurant Spago. I was one of the privileged few to be granted a first
taste of one of his fantastic new creations. Without going into too much
detail, needless to say, Wolfgang's pomme frites aux fromage avec Texas
chili was a dining experience I will never forget. Combined with a sparkling
chardonnay, the delicate balance of old cheddar, kidney beans and a fantastic
Newman's Own ranch dressing created an unimaginable flavour my taste buds
will never forget. I also reminisce about the few short days I spent in
London, England. I had just finished approving the final touches to the
life size recreation of myself at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum for the web
columnist's display. After finally getting my pectoral muscles "just
right", I was proud to say my Romanesque figure stood out prominently
placed between the rotund magnificence of Harry Knowles, of Ain't It Cool
News fame and some no name columnist from The Onion. Finishing many hours
of posing in the nude, I was starved for some nourishment. I quickly found
my way to the nearest pub and blindly ordered the special of the day and
a pint of Wildcat Dark Ale. Little did I know that the special of the day
was a sumptuous portion of British escargots. The very odor of this delicious
meal sent a direct message via my nasal passages to my brain to effectively
"dig in!" The escargots were lovingly sautéed in a specially
prepared garlic sauce and white wine mixture, which effectively brings out
the flavour of these tantalizing mollusks. The escargots were then covered
with beer batter, deep-fried and smothered with a heavy beef gravy. Let
me tell you, I've never had snails that tasted this good! After having such
extraordinary dining experiences such as these I assumed I would never be
spoiled again by gastronomic mistakes ever again. That was until, that fateful
day, I stopped into my local Taco Bell.
Taco Bell has been a cornerstone of the fast food
industry as far back as 1964. Offering an attractive alternative to the
so-called "bugermeisters", Taco Bell has created a niche market
with it's own versions of traditional Latin dishes. For many years, millions
of Taco Bell customers have devoured the hard shell tacos, burritos and
gorditas that this tried and true franchise has created. I myself, have
been hopelessly addicted to the chili cheese burritos and chalupa supremes
for many years. Needless to say, you can imagine my excitement when I
saw the commercials for the "New Steak Quesadilla." I immediately
jumped into my Hummer and raced to Taco Bell drive thru to taste one for
myself. As I quickly unwrapped the still hot wax paper that housed this
mysterious dish I carefully placed one of the servings of Quesadilla into
my mouth. I was sadly disappointed. In comparison to the seven-layer burrito,
the "New Steak Quesadilla" does not compare. First of all, the
steak portion of the Quesadilla is practically non-existent. Considering,
that the ingredients of a Quesadilla are steak and cheese, needless to
say the amount of cheese was quite disappointing as well. Combined with
the extremely large tortilla that these ingredients are housed within,
it creates a very substandard dining experience. No amount of Dr.Pepper
was able to extinguish the dryness and unpalatable taste that this new
meal created within my mouth.
I admit that I have no practical experience in
making quesadilla's, but if I were to offer any advice to the chef's in
the Taco Bell kitchens it would be this. Add more. Put some sour cream,
chives, tomatoes or something that would make this a reasonable culinary
experience. The minimal amounts of cheeses and steak does not make this
an delectable meal, no matter what amount of cheese fries you accompany
it with. Now if you'll excuse me I have to catch the next Concorde to
Paris. There is a chocolate mousse competition that demands my attention.
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