Who here doesn't like buying DVD's? Raise your hand. Ok, you with the face and you with the wooden leg, stop reading. The rest of you keep readin'. As much as I like watching the DVD's I purchase, I think in some twisted kind of way I actually enjoy buying them more. There's that bit of a rush when you're on the hunt. Finding that one title that is almost half the price it was at that other store! Sweet Hosanna, you know I'm definitely going to pick it up for that price! I love flipping through the DVD's, checking out some of the less mainstream titles and seeing what extra features they have on them. You have to check out the extra features! It's all about the extra features! You'd be surprised what some of these lesser known DVD's have as far as extra features. When I purchased "Cannonball Run", I immediately picked up due to the fact that I love this movie and the price was right. But boy was I surprised when I got home that it actually had an audio commentary track by the director and the producer. Interesting stuff! On the "Strange Brew" disc they had the pilot episode of the Bob & Doug McKenzie cartoon. Kind of neat. So now I always check out the special features because you never know what hidden gems you're going to find. But as all of you serious DVD purchasers know, they are the "good" special features and there's the "bogus" special features. "Bogus" special features are those half-assed discs you pick up, look at the special features, laugh at and then throw over your right shoulder in disgust. I thought that I'd run down a few of them for your reading enjoyment. You DVD maniacs will know what I'm talking about already so read, live, love and enjoy. But you with the wooden leg and you with the face, this is educational, so read and learn. There might be a test.

Cast Filmographies - I've just bought a copy of "K-9, P.I.", starring Jim Belushi and I was wondering if there was any way I could find out what movies he's done since the beginning of his film career in chronological order? Hold the phone! What's this in special features? Cast filmographies? Have my prayers been answered? Why it has every single film, Jim has done! So in 1995 he starred in "Destiny Turns On The Radio", Lordy did that movie suck ass…I wonder if there's a filmography for the dog?

Original Theatrical Trailer - Well you know when they're just grasping at straws to put something on the DVD when all they've got is the movie trailer. Is the director available to do a commentary track? Suicide? When? After the premiere? Oh that's terrible. How about one of the actors? Oh they all have laryngitis? Well that's strangely coincidental. How about some behind-the-scenes photos? They were all burned at the wrap party, oh that's a shame. How about some scripts or some storyboards? Oh, they're being held as evidence until the trial, I see. Well do we have a trailer? We do! Oh boy! But it's the trailer from Leutonia? Don't we have any English speaking trailers? Oh, yeah the trial, I forgot.

Interactive Menus - Interactive menus!? Interactive menus? This is a selling feature? I always laugh when I see this listed as special feature. Every single DVD selling today has "interactive menus." If it wasn't for the friggin' interactive menus, I wouldn't be able to select the type of sound I wanted or choose whether I want to watch "The Mighty Ducks Go to Baghdad" in full or the preferable wide screen.

Scene Selection - Again, much like 'interactive menus", scene selection is a standard DVD option. The whole purpose of buying DVD's is having the ability to cut through the crap sometimes and go directly to the scenes I want to see at that moment. It all depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes the frenetic gunplay in the movie "Desperado" can be a bit too much sometimes. I would sooner zoom ahead and admire the artistic merit of Salma Hayek's nude scenes and make absolutely sure that slow motion and pause feature are working correctly. Honest! Advertising scene selection is like putting an ad in the paper for a car. "76' Volvo, $800. Steering wheel included."

It has to be a pretty special movie for me to buy it without any decent extras on it. One of those sentimental buried treasures I watch again many, many years later only to realize what a big pile of rat dung the film really was. The ironic thing about my fetish for the extras is that I hardly ever use them. I can count on my hands the amount of movies I've re-watched with director's commentary. I usually say to myself that I'll watch the featurettes another time, but I rarely do. I think I just like the idea of having them. That anytime day or night I can put in my copy of "The Beastmaster" starring Marc Singer and watch the behind the scenes footage or listen to the audio commentary by the director Don Coscarelli. Besides I have a little thing for Tanya Roberts. She can tame my Beastmaster any day of the week! Rowr! Why did I write that?

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