So the big shocking news of the week is that the French Government does not agree with United States current political agenda. Holy Cow! Stop the presses! You mean to tell me that the French Government has a differing opinion? Who the hell do they think they are?! More specifically, France believes that there are more peaceful ways to solve this current situation with Iraq than by going in with guns a'blazin. Well for obvious reasons, the United States Government is none to keen on this political standpoint. Of course when has the U.S of A ever been that enthusiastic about the French to begin with? Honestly, who could like a bunch of beret wearin', nuclear testing, chain smoking, frog leg eaters anyway? But regardless of their obvious cultural differences it still doesn't mean they can't have a differing OPINION. Well apparently not according to the House of Representatives. In fact due to this heated debate, those hot heads on Capitol Hill have taken it upon themselves to take action! Throwing caution out the window, the House of Representatives have been up all night trying to find the appropriate tactic to let the French know that they are definitely not happy. After many long hours of careful thought, painstaking deliberation and thorough contemplation, the first political salvo has been fired. As of now, in all House office cafeterias, the name "French Fries" will now be changed to "Freedom Fries." KPOW! Take that France! Also, all references to French toast will now be called "Freedom Toast." ZING! How do you like dem apples? That's gotta hurt!

Freedom fries? Freedom toast? How petty is that? What are we 8-year-old kids playing in the schoolyard? What kind of reaction are they hoping to get out of the President of France when he hears this news?

*Phone rings*
Jacques Chirac: Allo? What? When? Why? Freedom fries?! Freedom toast?! It cannot be true! How could they do this to us? Damn those Americans! Now every time an American eats our national dish they will not be thinking of France, Oh no!! Now they will be thinking of freedom! Curses! What to do? Ahhh…I want every restaurant in France that serves "Yankee Pot Roast" to change it to…ummm…"Cowboy Hat Wearing Moron Roast." That will fix them! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Glory to France!

I'm curious to see what kind of ramifications that this political message will have. Does this mean that all of the condoms from the machines in the Capitol Hill bathrooms will be changed from "French Ticklers" to "Freedom Ticklers?" Instead of putting French dressing on their salads will they be covering their iceberg lettuce with "Patriot Sauce?" Maybe someone should tell these jokers on Capitol Hill that Russia and Germany doesn't exactly agree with their current plans for Iraq either. What are they going to do then? Will some political bill put forth to change all townships that are improperly named "Germantown" to something like, oh I don't know… "Libertyville" or "Flag-Burg?" Maybe these politicians could think of some better issues to concentrate their efforts on instead of childish political antics. Now if you'll excuse me I've got a bowl of delicious French Vanilla ice cream to eat. Oops! Excuse me, I meant Patriots Of Truth Vanilla.

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