Hey Great, More Reality TV
Well it seems due to recent current events we, as dedicated television viewers, are bearing witness to reality TV in its purest form. I'm sure you know the show I'm talking about, it's on all of the news channels running 24 hours a day. Of course this "show" is much different than the current crop of reality shows that plague our airwaves at the moment. No babes in bikinis. No prizes. The challenges are a bit grim and unlike some of these other shows we can't wait for this "show" to end as quickly and safely as possible. You would think that in light of these current events that the old reality TV gravy train would slow down a bit. I mean how much more reality do we need at this time? Well according to network executives we must see more. Much more. In fact a boatload of new shows have been scheduled for our viewing pleasure this year. So get ready BoldOpinionites there's a bunch more reality on the way! Hooray.


Mr. Personality - Well after the ratings success of Joe Millionaire, Fox is back with another dose of reality. Coming in April, it's the hot new dating show Mr. Personality! Here's the premise. Through the nail biting run of this show an attractive woman must ultimately select one man to date. I know what you're thinking, wow that's original, why don't I just watch The Bachlorette? But wait a minute, here's the catch. At no point during the selection process will this brave woman be able see the male contestants. All choices will be made by personality alone. Wow! So essentially we'll be watching an episode of "The Dating Game" that will last for months. Sounds great. You already know how this one's going to end. Eventually the final selection will come down to a couple of reasonably good-looking fellas and one kind hearted, but atypically attractive average Joe. Viewers will watch with bated breath as the supermodel picks the less than handsome contestant and laugh with glee as she disguises her disgust over her selection. Ahh, quality television at it's finest. Nothing like a little public humiliation to warm the heart and get ratings! Oh did I forget to mention that the show is hosted by Monica Lewinsky? I'm sure she was only chosen to host this show based on her years of experience in the "entertainment" industry. Note how I put the word "entertainment" within quotation marks? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. You know what I'm talking about right? I'm beating a dead horse here.

Who Wants To Be A Superhero? - Comin' atcha from the good old WB is the brand spankin' new twist to the reality series. Inspired by the comicdom genius of Stan Lee, contestants will pitch their ideas for a new superhero comic book before a panel of celebrity judges. Eventually these pitchmen will be subjected to a "superhero makeover" based on their creations and perform heroic acts in order to win the grand prize. Hmmm. Superhero makeover. Hmmm. Perform heroic acts in costume. Hmmm. Is it just me or is this a train wreck waiting to happen? Speaking from personal experience, I've never known the comic book fan community to be the most physically attractive bunch. Not to reinforce a stereotype, but I don't think anyone looks particularly pleasant in bright coloured spandex or wearing a cape for that matter. Are we going to bear witness to the 300 pound adventures of Captain Spectacular as he attempts to foil a mock back robbery with the help of the awesome power of his moon rays? I think I'll stick to watching repeats of "Smallville."

The Apprentice - Have you dreamed about working in the ever-challenging world of corporate America? Ever wanted to work for Donald Trump? I know I have! Well now you can in this fantastic new reality series from NBC. 20 contestants competing against each other to win a six-figure salary position in the Trump Corporation. Contestants from various walks of life will be required to accomplish various difficult business tasks beneath the watchful eye of billionaire Donald Trump. Now I'm kinda curious about what these so-called tasks will entail. If you have no previous business experience that apparently some of these contestants will not have, what will they do? Make numerous photocopies of their naked ass in a set amount of time? Filing for dollars? Getting coffee and donuts for accounting? At the end of each show one contestant will be fired by Donald Trump until we finally have a winner! My one last thought is what's going to happen to the joker who wins this show? He/She will be working for one of the most successful corporations in America amongst co-workers who actually earned their position through traditional means. The hazing around the office will be unprecedented. "Hey Gameshow, fax this memo for me will ya!" "Bob Barker where the hell are those TPS reports?" "Yo, Bachelor #1, do you want to bring these boxes down to storage or see what's behind the curtain?" What's even funnier is that if the person moves on to work someplace else, will they put this down on their resume?

Interviewer: Well I see you used to work for the Trump Corporation…
Applicant: Yes I did.
Interviewer: Very impressive. And what was your position there?
Applicant: Ahh…Game show winner.
Interviewer: Excuse me?
Applicant: I won the job on a reality based television show.
Interviewer: I see…well thank you for coming and you can pick up your consolation prizes from my secretary. I believe there is some lovely Samsonite luggage and box of Turtle Wax for you.

 

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