This might get messy.

Try to keep up. I apologize for the confusion in advance...

Why is it that dogs hate it when we blow directly in their face but yet they love having the wind blow against their face when they stick their heads out the window of our cars?

Have you noticed that people are terrifyingly obsessed with golf? Sure folks love other sports but there seems to be a peculiar preoccupation with golf. Those who play golf often have a compulsive behaviour about the game. But why? I think I have figured out the world’s obsession with golf. It’s the only game you can’t win. Every other sport or game has a clear winner and loser. Football, hockey, boxing, tennis, chess, you name it. But golf is this anomaly of sorts where there is no decided victor. There is no “Yahtzee I win!” moment in golf. Golf is a game you play against yourself. No matter how good you shoot, it will never be good enough. Players will always obsess about how they can take 3 more strokes off their game. It is this “inner battle” quality of golf that makes it so anxiety inducing.

How stupid would dancing look if there was no music on? Just a bunch of people gyrating and jumping around with the sound of feet stomping. Ridiculous, I tells ya. With no music on dancing is quite a bizarre thing. This must be a running gag with deaf people.

I feel with the mass acceptance of online tools such as email, instant messaging, e-cards and such that hand written letter writing is becoming a lost art. This is a shame. There is something intimately special about receiving hand written letters or cards. To me it insinuates more effort and exudes more feeling. An email or e-card seems so generic or calculated. It’s sad to think that future generations are never going to know that sensation of receiving a love letter. Those six page hand written emotion soaked documents that we can cherish and keep hidden within a shoe box in our closet. Those days are almost gone unfortunately thanks to technology. And do kids pass notes during class anymore? Doubt it. They are likely just text messaging each other. How times change.

Why is it called French kissing? Pourquoi?

Tell me this…why hasn’t God appeared in the last 2000 years? I can’t get my head around this. Back in 3 A.D. it seems he was making appearances on a fairly regular basis. What with manifesting in burning bushes, giving Moses the 10 commandments and telling Noah to build an ark. He was rather busy back in those days no? He was booked on manifestation gigs on a weekly basis it appeared for awhile there. However the last couple thousand years….nothing. Not even a smoldering houseplant. What’s the deal? Did God think the last eighteen generations or so didn’t need much convincing there was a higher power? But yet that first generation REALLY needed a hand. Were the people back then really, really stubborn or something? Or perhaps a wee bit slow that they required this extra special attention? “This group just doesn’t get it, completely over their heads…heaven is gonna be bloody empty unless I get involved here.” Couldn’t he have spread all those appearances out over the last couple thousand years? Like book a little visit once every couple hundred years to remind the troops you exist? Just a little suggestion…

Why do some insist we still call tomatoes fruit? No one thinks these things are fruit. But yet we are clinging to this notion that tomatoes are in the fruit family because some pig headed scientist said it years and years ago. Give it up already. Tomatoes are friggin’ vegetables. They will never be in fruit salads. Only regular salads, alright? Let’s rewrite the science books people. No one is buying this fruit nonsense.

Annnnnnnnnnd….I’m spent.

Uhhh my head is spinning.