Who is to blame? Who allowed that hot pink Honda Civic be stuck in front of me in rush hour traffic? Why is that lowered, bright yellow Integra mere micro inches away from my back bumper? Who is responsible for this bastardization of automotive design? I’ll tell you who’s responsible. Hollywood. That’s right Hollywood. Well maybe not Hollywood in general, but particularly Universal Studios. Why Universal Studios? Well mainly because these are the tinsel town fat cats who put out the movie and its much unneeded sequel “The Fast And The Furious.” Essentially what this movie did was tell a nation of punks that…

- Customizing your car to the point that it burns brighter than the light of a thousand suns is cool.
- Driving like a complete jackass is completely acceptable.
- With enough custom parts, one day your car will actually be able to fly.

Yes, thank you Universal Studios for legitimizing this unbearable of pastimes. Also, big thanks to the writers for giving Vin Diesel this magnificent line in the movie.

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free.”

Bleargh. Now thousands of street racing wannabe’s have essentially been given their “license to drive.” The God given right to do whatever the hell they want to do with their vehicles. Right now, no judge or jury can convict them. Go ahead, dart in out of traffic like some spastic jackass trying to cross that imaginary finish line. Not enough vehicle control? Why don’t you attach some god awful fin to the back of your car that resembles something that came out of a box of Meccano. Do you really need all that trunk space? Why don’t you strip it out and install a stereo system that has enough bass to topple a small village? Make sure you play it loud enough so that all of us driving around you can enjoy your particular booty-shakin’ musical selection of the moment. Colours like black and silver are a bit too classy aren’t they? I suggest neon green, pylon orange or both! Make sure to accentuate these colours with a lot of unnecessary automotive decals that have no relevance to your make and model of car. Oh, I almost forgot. Make sure that you replace that old rear section exhaust with the biggest, ugliest one you can find. It will give that extra infinitesimal amount of extra power to get to Grandma’s house for cookies and milk ever so much more quickly.

Like the title says, I’m not a car guy. They’ve never been my thing. I just like convenience of getting from point A to point B without the use of public transit. The only possible solution to this burgeoning problem could possibly be is that if Hollywood were to put out a new type of movie. It could be called “XDD – Xtreme Defensive Drivin’!” or “Turn Signal Of Truth.” One of the ‘cooler’ scenes could play out something like this.