Makeup for men, a burgeoning industry that cosmetic companies are clamoring to take control of. Dry cream concealer crème. For men. Sunburn blush powder. For men. Purifying mineral clay masques . For men. Structure definition blush. For men. Has it really come to this? Has male vanity now evolved to such a point that a simple shave and a haircut is not enough? C'mon fellas, lets think about this for a moment. Do we really want to venture into the mysterious world of cosmetics? I mean after years of nicks and cuts I've pretty much mastered this whole shaving thing. But now I've got to worry about how to properly accent my cheekbones? I'm sorry, but this is one pony this cowboy ain't going to saddle up. I want to know who's responsible for this. I want to meet the man who looked in the mirror and thought to himself, "You know my eyes would look ever so much more fetching if I accented them with a bit of eyeliner." I want to meet this man and pound the living hell out of him. This is so very wrong. Only under specific circumstances should men be allowed to wear makeup. If you're going to a KISS concert, makeup is fine, but only if it mimics one of the members of the band. If you happen to be participating in a military skirmish, makeup is appropriate, but only if it is for the purpose of blending in with your surroundings. If you are a mime, trying to escape that invisible box, makeup is fitting, it comes with the job. In any other circumstance, makeup is not fine! No makeup! No blushes, creams, powders, nothing! Let the womenfolk keep this stuff for themselves. As a man I speak for my entire race when I say, we do not need makeup! No makeup! End of story.
I shudder to think how this fabulous new trend is going to evolve. I
see myself many years from now…a proud father of a strapping young
lad. As I walk past the bathroom I notice my pride and joy looking at
himself in the mirror, rubbing his face with his hands. I realize this
one of those special moments in a father's life where I get to pass on
some of my worldly wisdom and experience. "So son, would you like
your old man to give you few tips on shaving that man hair off your face?"
"Actually Dad, I was wondering if you think I should use a concealing
cream to get rid of the bags under my eyes." It's at this point I
feel a shooting pain in my chest and collapse to the floor to my untimely
death. My son is the only witness to my final words "n-n-n-noo……makeup….bleargh."
Got Something You wanna say to this Guy? Say it Here!
or mail to:christian@boldopinion.com
