This blows my mind. Isn’t this the same culture that seemingly outwardly promotes all things sex? We pride ourselves on T & A. Aren’t the likes of Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, Heidi Fleiss and Charlie Sheen amongst our headcount? I challenge anyone to find a greater assembled group of exhibitionists. Ours is a plastic and silicon society. We are the population that constantly flaunts the attributes of the Britney Spears, Brad Pitts, and the Pamela Andersons. All our movies, television, music, literature, and advertising are overloaded with gratuitous sex. Our media menu includes Sex and the City, Coyote Ugly the Thong Song, and half naked women trying to sell us motor oil. We gave the world friggin’ Baywatch people! And aren’t we the porn capital of the world? Jenna Jameson gets more press then some of our elected officials. And you are telling me that they are having more sex in Burma? Carnal desire is king in North America. Or at least that is what we seem to insinuate. But I guess not. We talk the big talk…but apparently we don’t hump the hump. We’re like that lame dude that lies about sleeping around with all those girls just so he can look cool. We’re all talk apparently. Because people in India are getting their rocks off way more than us.

What gives? I’ll tell ya what gives peeps. North America is an overworked, dog eat dog, live for your career society. We live fast and have literally no down time. We have instituted the longest work weeks in the world clocking in around 50-60 hours (and this is low in some cases). Thus, less sex for us. We have on average one of the lowest amounts of mandatory vacation time. The North American norm is around 2 weeks. In Europe for example, an entry level employee gets a months vacation time. Hence, more sex for them. Countries like Spain have siestas where the work world stops in mid afternoon to take a break and relax. Siesta translated into English is “sleepy sexy time”. In North America, we are being asked to come in earlier and stay later. Notice a trend developing? We are so busy trying to get ahead that we are neglecting how to get…ahhh…head. We are so burned out that it has dampened our sexual prowess.

Well I say this must change. This is a call to all North Americans. We need to pull off our pants and change this disturbing statistic. Because quite honestly it’s embarrassing. We have to start living up to our own hype. We can’t globally display this sexual bravado and then in turn allow Hungarians to be more horny than us? We have to start gettin’ it onnnnnnn people! We have a reputation to upkeep. I am doing my part. Ladies, come join me in the grotto!