Sometimes you get really busy in life and miss the opportunity to see films in the theatre. Hence the invention of the videotape…or it was a clever ploy to make money. Love the video…and for those in the cool crowd, the DVD. Anyway, enough about home theatre.

Because of the fact that I missed its theatrical debut I decided to rent Heist, well it was more like a forced decision since everything else was out. However at this point I didn't realize the mistake I had made by not leaving the video store and running home to watch a blank TV screen.

I had seen the trailers for this film…they weren't too bad in fact they were a little enticing. It had stars like Gene Hackman, Danny DeVito, and well…a bunch of others that aren't that big yet but enjoyable on screen just the same. The trailer gives Heist a Tarantinoesque look, the look that everybody loves and misses since we haven't seen him for a while. My mind did a quick recall of the trailer whilst I was in the video shop of horror and told me it looked pretty good. Stupid brain.

You know the worst part about renting a disappointing film besides the disappointment? It's the embarrassment of having the other people watching it thinking that this is your taste in movies. So, I get home with video in hand, snacks in bag, and a night of entertainment ahead of me.

The Heist displays one serious truth about Hollywood and movies…it doesn't matter who's in the film if the script sucks. This one sucked more than a two-dollar whore with a crack habit. Written and directed by David Mamet, (State and Main) Heist is a movie that begged me to shut it off from the moment I pressed play. The script that seemed to be forced through a strainer was filled with cheesy wannabe cool one liners like "My man is so cool, when he goes to bed, sheep count him…" and a barrage of bad acting. One person comes to mind…could it be Rebecca Pidgeon? I was wondering how this woman got the role in the first place, so I decided to find out a little about her and what she's done. It turns out she has little history in Hollywood but her saving grace is she's married to David Mamet…ahhhh the picture becomes clearer.

I couldn't even tell you what the story was supposed to be about except for Hackman was a thief and DeVito wanted him to do one last job…that's a new one. So Hackman argues that he's through and DeVito tells him he's not…well guess what Hackman's gonna do it. It doesn't matter…I've already lost interest, with all the shite editing and the fact that my wall holds me more captivated I couldn't tell what was going on. I'm not going to waste my time writing about the story or your time reading about it. Obviously you wouldn't know this about me but I rarely shut off a movie…I'll watch just about anything until the end just in case something good happens. I could tell ten minutes into this one that anything good that was going to come out of this picture ended up in the trailer. So I shut it off and painted my living room so I had something more entertaining to watch.

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