As we grow older things begin to change. "Really Dr.Science? What a concept, please tell me more." What I'm saying is that when we grow older our hair is eventually going to do one or both of these things. A - It's going to turn gray and B, it's going to slowly disappear. At this point thankfully, I have not suffered any of these ailments so don't stop sending those erotic emails my BoldOpinionettes! Heh,Heh. Ahem. Anyway. I do however notice these changes in other people. It's not that I notice the men who are balding or have gray hair, because these brave souls are everywhere. What I do notice are the men who are obviously trying to camouflage their predicament from the rest of the world. It's not pretty. Obviously some are more noticeable than others, but you know the ones I'm talking about. The 65-year-old man straining to get out of the drivers seat of his car, the sunlight blindly reflecting off the top of his jet-black hair. The middle-aged-man sporting what seems to resemble a coonskin cap, barely resting on the top of his noggin. The kind of toupee that makes you think that if this gentleman were to suddenly make a 45-degree turn his entire body would move except for the dead rat on top of his head. The young man who has gone prematurely bald and has invested thousands of dollars to undergo a medical procedure where foreign hairs are inserted into his scalp. It's almost impossible to ignore the early stages of this operation due to the geometric patchwork of hair that erupts squarely in the middle of his baldhead. The worst case however in my opinion has got to be the "comb over." This practice fascinates me the most. Men who grow what little hair they have left to such great lengths that they are able to 'flip it' over the areas where hair does not exist. Compounded with vast amounts of hair spray to keep it in place, creating this geodesic dome effect that does not look natural in the least.
Men are a vain bunch. We fear old age and will go to any means to combat its ill effects. But sometimes the measures we take to fight this battle make us look more like fools than the distinguished gentlemen we should be. For all those men out there who are practicing the procedures I mentioned above, quit it. You're not fooling anyone. Bite the bullet and reveal your true self to the world. It may take a while to get used to but in the end it's a hell of a lot better talking to someone face to face than having them laugh about you behind your back. Now if you'll excuse me I have got to get back to my daily honeydew scalp treatment.
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