The high school reunion. An opportunity to travel back in time, reunite with your old chums and reminisce about past glories. A rare occasion that gives you the ability to revisit with former colleagues and regale them with the numerous stories of your accomplishments since you've escaped the hallowed halls of your former learning institution. A self-aggrandizing event that allows you to reaffirm the fact that everything in your life is OK. I mean that is essentially the whole purpose of the high school reunion isn't it? I mean you're not going back to reacquaint yourself with old friends are you? Give me a break. It's been ten years since you've been in high school and you're telling me that you've got this yearning to renew your relationship with your old locker partner from the tenth grade? "Oh hi Bill, so you still got that awesome picture of Samantha Fox from our locker door?" Or maybe you're going back to reaffirm the fact that your graduating class was the most rockin'est of all time! "Man, nobody had a better time than us man! We were the best! Good times man…good times." The only reason that anyone goes to a high school reunion is to essentially tell someone, anyone, that they haven't totally screwed up their life. To engage in conversation with a group of like individuals who are more than willing to listen to your stories of success since high school, feigning intense interest only so that you listen to their stories as well. A therapeutic exercise that reaffirms the fact that your are comfortable in your own shell. If the high school reunion were a television show, it would be called "The Look At Me Show! I'm Okey Dokey." I've never attended a high school reunion, but if I were to speak to all of those who attended I'm sure I would be inundated with stories of the most successful and happy people known to man. I would be sitting down in the old cafeteria, nursing a glass of punch and thinking to myself, "My god, every single person in this entire room has lead an unbelievably flourishing life. They're all winners!" I mean who's going to come to a high school reunion and tell stories of all their failures? "Yeah, well right after graduation I developed a serious addiction to barnyard pornography and wrote numerous threatening letters to local politicians. Oh and I was also in jail for a year for attempted robbery of a 7-11. So what have you been doing?"
I'll admit I was not a big fan of being in high school. I knew that there was a bigger world awaiting me once I exited those hallowed halls. I counted the days before I would be able to leave and move on to bigger and better things. Essentially high school was a genetic bouillabaisse that prepares you somewhat for the future individuals and challenges that you are going to face in the future. But if you're one of these people who couldn't get enough of high school life and hold those memories as some of your most cherished, I say go! Find out what Shecky and the Biffmeister have been doing all these years. Hey maybe if you're lucky, their parents might be gone for the weekend so you can sneak something out of their liquor cabinet before they get back. Meanwhile, I'll be having dinner with friends of mine from the more formative years of my life. Heck maybe I'll call them up right now! "Hey dude, remember that last pub night we went to? Man, that was totally awesome. You must have drank about 30 beers that night…totally awesome…"
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