Gumbo – What is gumbo? Well according to Dictionary.com, gumbo is a soup thickened with the mucilaginous pods of the okra. Gumbo is a funny word. Just the sound of it is funny. Gumbo. Gumbo. Where did this word come from? Who was country bumpkin that durn thunked up this little gem of a word? To prove my point, let’s try to use the word “gumbo” in a somber sentence and see what happens.

“Your great aunt’s Mildred’s final words before she died were her secret ingredients to her famous…*sob*…chicken gumbo.”

See? The great aunt dying pales in significance to the word gumbo. Just the thought of her on her death bed reciting a gumbo recipe removes all of the sadness of her situation. “Listen to me…I don’t have much time left, write this down…no great chicken gumbo is complete without …*gasp*…anchovies…no great gumbo is complete without anchovies…gumbooooo…..” Alright next word.

Loofah – For the longest time I had no idea what a loofah was. You would usually find them in a woman’s bathroom. I’d look at this thing and wonder, “what the hell is thing? What is the purpose of this mysterious looking piece of fungus?” I naturally assumed that it was some kind of feminine cleansing device, one of those special “womeny” things I really had no business knowing about. Well eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask the proverbial question mankind has been asking for ages, “What is that thing?” Regardless, loofah is one of those words. Excuse me, where do I find the loofahs? Why that is a particularly unusual loofah you have there. Has the new loofah shipment come in yet? Here’s a sentence.

“As her entire house slowly burned to the ground, Elizabeth clutched within her badly burned arms the one solitary item she was able to save from her former home, her loofah.”

I can just picture this poor woman covered with soot, kneeling front of a pile of burning embers that was once her home. Tears are streaming down her face and she’s clutching a loofah in her arms. Hilarious! Next word or should I say words.

Any Item In The Ikea Catalog – Nobody ever asks you the name of something you’ve bought from Ikea. You know why? Because you know you’ll look like a total dork just trying to figure out how to say it. Even if you say it correctly you’ll sound like a total jackass. For crying out loud, you could be a Swedish language teacher and pronounce the word in a perfect Swedish, accent and still sound like you’re in desperate need of speech therapy. Besides we all know they’re made up names anyway. It’s all a fiendish plot by those schemin’ Swedes to make North American’s look stupid. I still think it’s funny to ask questions about their purchases.

“So what did you buy?”
“Coffee table”
“Oh yeah, what’s it called?”
“It’s kind of white wood, with these storage boxes…”
“But what’s it called?”
“What do you mean? It’s a coffee table?”
“Yeah, but if I want to go to Ikea and buy one what name should I give the salesperson so I can find it easier?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Bankesta.”
“What?”
“Bankesto, Brunabo, Fornbro…I don’t friggin’ know.”

Funny stuff. Fake Swedish words are always funny.