Let's not waste time here…we all have things that piss us off. That behaviour that other humans choose to exhibit that in turn piss us off to no degree. Those traits or actions that make us want to walk over and strangle these folks within an inch of their life. But…count to ten…we must cope. We have to deal with things on a daily basis that rub us the wrong way. Those slight irritations that others do that make us want to stand up and shout "NO MORE!" But…splash water on the face…we must cope. We must try to ignore these minor annoyances around us so as not to go postal and tip the scales of this so-called society. Live and let live right? Different strokes for different folks huh? Well fuck that…it's time to stand up and let our rants be heard. Here are just a few of the things that are currently pissing me off:
Stupid Club People:
Who the fuck are these people? Seriously…do these people realize how ridiculous they are? You know those "professional clubbers" that have VIP passes at like 17 different bars? Those women that have more make up on then someone from a Roger fuckin' Corman movie and float around like they are too good to be anywhere. Hey honey, just because you can bypass a lineup at the local club doesn't make you a goddamn celebrity okay? So can the attitude and erase that sexy pouted lips look off your face…it ain't workin for ya! Or these men who can only seem to wear sleeveless skintight shirts, wear sunglasses indoors, and are more tanned than George Hamilton after spending a month in Cancun. Hey dude, we got it, you work out…but guess what, let me turn the music down and tell you something…you are fuckin' lame! None of you are as important as you think you are.
Stupid Hooting and Hollering People:
How much do you hate these freaks that hang out of their cars and scream "Wooooo!" or "Yaaaaaaa" or sometimes the seriously annoying combination of "Wooo Yaaaaa!" Alright, you are having a good time, but let's control ourselves a little bit there jerky? No one should be screaming "Woooo" or "Yaaaa" anywhere outside of a sporting event or a strip club. It's not a competition to see who is "partyin' down" the hardest okay…so "Wooo" or "Yaaa" to yourself in your own fuckin' head. And as for the people who feel it necessary to proclaim that "(insert town) is in the HOUSE!"…you are beyond help.
Stupid Loud Car Stereo People:
What is up with these guys who drive downtown in their souped up power cars and blare their stereos so loud that the ground vibrates…but the music they are playing is J-Lo? Aren't they in on the joke? Doesn't everybody, including children, mock these people? How are they oblivious to this? Doing this makes you an immediate target for insults. And who exactly is this impressing? "Man, that moron with the shitty music taste's stereo is pretty loud"
Stupid Kids With Cellphones:
Why the hell do children have cellphones? I mean, I see these 9 year olds walking in the mall chatting on cellphones all the time now!?! Someone want to explain this to me? What the fuck are they talking about? Planning last minute sleepovers? Discussing strategy on the weekend's dodgeball game? "I have to call Stuey, he totally would be into going out for a slurpee with us"
Stupid People Selling Flowers:
Let me make something clear, no one wants to buy friggin' flowers while we are sitting in a bar or restaurant. Especially not from these weirdos…And hey door to door flower guy, try to be a little more selective on who you approach. I may not be as experienced as you are in this field but if you see 4 guys, drinking beer and watching wrestling in a pub…I am gonna guess they aren't your target fuckin' market!!
Jennifer Connelly's Stupid New Body:
What the fuck? The minute she is recognized as truly "famous" or is considered "legit" she feels it is necessary to become a waif? She was always so beautiful and voluptuous but the minute she gets an academy award nomination she is skin and bones? Can someone give this woman a snack before her face caves in? Why do women do this when they get famous? Look at Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox pre-Friends popularity surge and then now? And have you seen Christina Ricci…she looks like she is fuckin' dead? Men like curves…come back old Jennifer Connelly…come back!
And the biggest thing that currently pisses me off...(drum roll)
How angry is this Downs motherfucker?
…but that's just my goddamn opinion.
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