Cable Television Fucking Sucks!

Before I moved I had shall we say a very good television system. Due to today's wonderful technology I was able to get about 600 free channels, from Mtv to FoodTV, I had it all. I thought that if the only thing on was Iron Chef I had it rough, that was until the last few weeks. There just so happens to be a huge tree right in front of my house and because of that fuckin tree I have no choice but cable television. And let me tell you this shit fuckin sucks man. Sure we get all the major networks, but face it, there isn't shit on those things in the summer. I mean if I am fuckin forced to watch another shitty episode of 8 Simple Rules I'm gonna fuckin lose it.

One of the other big contributors is the fact that all Canadian television sucks. I'm fuckin sorry, but I've just come from 2 years of watching nothing but American TV, and let me tell you these people have perfected the medium. I mentioned MTV earlier, but I'm dead serious this is the best channel on the fuckin planet. No matter what time of day it was there was ALWAYS something interesting on MTV. Every single time I turned the TV on, the first channel I would hit was MTV. And Canada's answer? MuchfuckinMusic, give me a fuckin break here people. They can't even touch MTV, not even in the same fuckin ballpark, shit ballpark they aren't even in the same fuckin sport. Do you realize that The Osbournes was just a small show that came on there one day? I remember the ads, no one was going to watch this show, and it became one of the biggest fuckin phenomena in television. And that was just one of their ideas, Andy Dick, Tom Green, Jackass, PUNKED? I mean come on. And their on air talent? THESE people belong on TV, have you seen the fuckin talent on Much Music? Give me a fuckin break I have more talent in the tip of my cock.

And sure I could upgrade to digital cable, yeah like I'm gonna fuckin do that. They charge you a hundred bucks to come out just to give you the fuckin receiver. THEN, you've got like another fuckin forty buck payment a month, PLUS you have to subscribe to all the specialty shit. This is fuckin bullshit man. Every single thing that technology advances, these fuckin companies jump in and fuckin ruin it all. Now they have digital camera phones, the fuckin cell phone companies love this shit. Now they have another fuckin service to charge you for. I am fuckin tired of this shit man. Who the fuck are these people to control all of this shit and make us fuckin ordinary joe's pay through the nose for it. I mean goddamn, I pay for 60 fuckin channels of television and it's all fuckin shit. So am I going to use any means necessary to rip you off that technology affords me? You're goddamn right I am.

This is our technology revolution it's about time we took it back. I am not going to sit idly by and watch these big fucking companies control my destiny whether it be through cable service, software or mp3's. The fuckin cult is back the fuck on. Fight Club has nothing on what I'm prepared to do. It's time for the geeks and dorks who built this shit to stand up together and be heard. This is our shit man, we built this city on rock and roll, and its high time took the mother fucker back!

DOWNS

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