Welcome to unemployment Mr. Downs.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, it has happened, your fearless leader and sometimes god has joined the ranks of the unemployed. Can you fuckin believe that? Some stupid motherfucker thought I didn't deserve to keep my job, that I wasn't worth retraining, and that even though I am one of the most dedicated individuals on the planet, someone else could do my job better than me.

Just over a year ago I started my third major job, in my now almost 10-year career in the web industry. I was brought in to be a senior member for the project management team. And when it turned out that my boss was going to be going on maternity leave, it was decided that I would take on the majority of her responsibilities. The team and I had a great dynamic; we knew where we were trying to go and were ready to move in that direction. When all of a sudden here comes a new managing director. Well fuck me that pretty much marked the end of my time at this organization. As of November of last year I've been on the chopping block. Sure no one in the entire company was as senior as myself in my field, sure no one in the company had spent months in learning what had happened in the last few years to put the company where they were now. But I knew then that my days were numbered.

If that's all true then, why am I so fuckin surprised and lost now that it eventually happened?

I guess the answer to that question is that I never really expected this company to toss me aside so readily. Sure the entire direction of the company had changed, but isn't it their job to find a place for me in that new company? I mean fuck, don't these companies have a responsibility here to their employees? If I have a responsibility to them, then why the fuck don't they have one back to me? I'm not allowed to name that company in this article, or talk bout any client shit, but they can just fuck me over in a blink of an eye and I don't get to say shit about it? I mean I didn't even know that they could just do this to me, "Hey Downs, were restructuring, and there's no place for you here. Buh bye. Oh, and good luck with the whole pregnant wife thing."

I mean I've been trying to be as positive as I can all week, I've been trying to not take this shit personally, but you know fuckin what? It is fuckin personal. This company, these fuckin people felt that instead of talking to me, proposing a change in job they would rather toss my ass out on the fuckin curb. I even went into my boss's office 3 weeks ago when they let someone else go and asked if they were trying to make me quit. It was pretty obvious that I no longer had any hand in the direction of the company or my own clients business. "Of course not, you are a trusted and respected member of this team." FUCK YOU, trusted and respected, I was neither, in fact I wonder if they even saw me as a fuckin person. I'll tell you the new fuckin managing director didn't, he doesn't give a fuck about people, he is mowing them down left and right in that place and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. And one day, one day soon I hope that company is going to be fucked, and I have to tell you I would love to be standing there as the place burned around his fuckin ears, all you would hear is me laughing.

So that's about it for this week. I don't know if this was necessarily an opinion, but if you don't like it then kiss my ass. I don't know what's going to happen now, I feel like The Hulk, a rage of emotions one minute, a calm ordinary man the next. In the 15 years of my life I've been working I have never been asked to leave a job, NEVER. Whether it was picking rocks from the Shaw family farm at age 15, washing dishes at Sams with my long hair at age 18, or the 6 years I spent beside my mentor Ted . No one ever, has thought that I couldn't adapt to the new situation, that I should be tossed out to the curb like a bag of trash, and that I deserved no loyalty, that like which I had shown to my various places of employment.

The bottom line is, I don't even know if I want to work in this web industry anymore. If I can be honest here I'm pretty fuckin burnt out on the whole fuckin thing. But what else am I to do? I've been doing this so long now I don't know what else I can do. And let's be fair here, its not like I can fuck off and try to go after some dream I missed the opportunity on, I have a wife and a child on the way. I have responsibility; I have lives that depend on me for a home, for food and clothing. This is what it means to be a man, to be a husband and to be a father. These things are mine now, whether I choose them or not, that's what it means to be a man, this is my job now. And I guess no matter what, that is a more important job than anything some company can throw my way. So whether it be working in a ditch, or doing internet porn I'll have to find something to pay the bills. Little Downs in on its way, and that train ain't waiting for nobody.

Who knows what may happen in the coming weeks here in my weekly column, but now is the time for something big to happen. Any of you who have written scripts or have television shows you think I would be perfect for, now's that time to send them on in.

As always, light or dark, pleasure or pain, I remain …

DOWNS

Don't like what I have to say? Do you think I really care? Hit me here.

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