You know what I'm talking about. You'll be sittin there, nothing on except Mallrats on TBS, so thinking it can't be that bad you'll tune it. But deep inside the back of your mind you know that the television censors are about to turn your favorite movie into a piece of shit. How do they get away with this? I mean some of these movies are cut so badly they don't even resemble the original movie at all?

Yesterday I was watching Naked Gun, I love that movie. If you know the movie you know the scene where Leslie Neilsen wears his radio mic into the bathroom, all these people at this press conference then get to hear him pissing. It's hilarious. So yesterday on VH1, they actually took the pissing sound out. Give me a fucking break here. Is pissing so offensive? I mean that's bullshit, all you hear is him humming. The whole joke is ruined, how is this movie now in anyway what the director envisioned?

Sometimes you watch these movies and they have scenes that you've never seen. Like in Mallrats, they took out all this stuff about being screwed in an uncomfortable place, which was the ass for all those keeping score. So they had extra time, so this scene I have never seen before was thrown in at the end. What the fuck is that? This scene isn't even on the fuckin DVD, but it's in this shit version of the movie?

And then the total piss off of my day? Jason Mewes's character in the movie usually is saying something about pot or something, so almost all of his lines are different. And not only that, they had some other guy dubbed over him? So in essence, you only get to hear about 10% of his lines that he actually said. That's total fuckin bullshit man. Why don't these stations just not bother playing these movies? They are obviously too racy for the network, so don't fucking play it, it's that simple.

And it pisses me off too cause I get sucked in to watching them. I have the DVD right over there, but it's on TV man, I have to watch it. So I sit there all pissed off not enjoying the fuckin move, and now I cant watch it on DVD, cause I just watched it. Fuck man.

Alright, so I have to go now, Pulp Fiction is about to come on television. And I know they are going to destroy this fuckin movie.

DOWNS

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