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| Welcome
to the cult of Downs!
Week after week I take my seat at the keyboard and pour my heart into word for all of you people. Over the last year and a bit I have received all sorts of feedback. Sure some have been negative but the majority have been very positive. Most of you out there agree with what I say, in fact most of you want me to go further and say more. So I say, why the fuck not. I received an email after last week's rebel rousing article and the writer suggested I name all of you, put a name to you sort of like Hulk Hogan did with his "Hulkamaniacs". At first I scoffed at this idea, but then as I was watching Oz, I saw something similar. All of the nazi's in Oz had these hidden tattoo's that they would show to each other to signify that they were in the brotherhood. Now I don't advocate what nazi's do, I mean they hate people based off of race, I don't have the time to divide people up into smaller groups, I hate everyfuckinbody. But the idea of that tattoo, combined with the naming of my followers made me think, ya know I could be a cult leader. I mean if you think about it, say you are on the subway and there's someone being a complete ass and you want to do something about it. Then you look across the car and there is someone flashing you a tattoo with me shooting the finger. Hot damn, now there are two of you , time to teach this fucker a lesson. Awesome, it could be just like Fight Club. First rule of the Downs Cult is to tell everyone about the Downs Cult. Fuck keeping that shit quiet man, if I'm gonna be your leader I want lots of people with lots of money. Maybe we should take over the Scientologists, they're fuckin loaded. Ok, mmm but what do we do for a name, I mean that is one of the most important things right. We want to strike fear into our enemy's hearts. We want women and children to quake in our presence. I mean Hell's Angels is already taken, which really is too bad, I mean that has a certain ring to it that you just can't deny. Or maybe I'm just in a religious mood cause I watched The Prophecy last night. I mean something like Fuckin Bastards is good, but I think I need my name in there somewhere. Fuck man it's my cult so I can put my name in it. Here's an idea, I'll take suggestions from all of you my loyal followers and I'll tell ya what, whoever's submission I pick, I will make them an officer in my new cult. You'll be on the ground floor of the next big thing, hundreds of people will be joining after you and you will be in good with the boss. I guess I just always wanted to be in the mafia too, but I'm as white as wonderbread so that ain't ever going to happen. So this is it, the Downs Cult. (until we get a cooler name) OK my children, go until next your prophet speaks.
DOWNS (all caps now cause I'm a deity) Don't like what I have to say? Do you think I really care? Hit me here. Click here for more Articles by this Author
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