My living situation updated.

I'm sure most of you loyal readers out there read my article about my roommate's alarm clock. If you didn't you can read it by clicking here. Also I'm sure all of you read that article about my roommate's girlfriend who was over all the time and acted like she lived there. Oh wait, I didn't write that article, that's too bad it would have been a good one.

Well here we are a few months later, an engagement and wedding has happened and I'm sure you are all wondering just where it is I lay my head at night.

WELL, let me tell you I had it good before. I like to rent houses, I can't really stand living in high rises. I think it has to do with the elevators, that's just too many people to deal with when coming and going from your own fuckin home.

My fiancée (then, my wife now), and I found this nice place out in the west end of Toronto. Sure the color could stand to be freshened up, sure there were 4 apartments in one house but it had just about everything we wanted so we took it. We moved in and were pretty happy with our choice until we slowly realized we had the neighbors from hell.

First off we realize there is one water heater for the whole house. Yes 1 water heater for 4 apartments. This of course has gotten ugly. First it seemed like an accident here or there someone would flush the toilet while you were showering. Now it's like a game of fuckin RISK. Everyone in the house listens for water to be running then you hear the people on the other floors running to the bathroom. I mean fuck people, how old are we? I can't even get a fucking regular shower in this place without the fear of being scalded, or freezing my balls off.

Then we find out one of the people upstairs is this guy, well sometimes he's a guy. The other times, he dresses up and goes out like a woman. I mean he has a girlfriend and everything and seems fine, then next thing we know he's leaving all dolled up in heels and makeup. And this was months before Halloween. So now what are we supposed to think? I mean it's one thing to be gay, or have an alternative lifestyle but this is just a bit out there man. Sure the guy is probably fucked up and confused, but he could also be a fuckin freak who does all kinds a weird shit.

So now we've put all this fucking work into this place, we've got silence of the lambs upstairs, we have a feud on for hot water, and now we've all started banging on the floor whenever anyone is halfway loud. I mean seriously what the fuck are we supposed to do here? I guess I know why people buy houses now, but fuck who's to say the people next door aren't going to turn into the Manson's?

I guess it just brings me back to the point of moving up to a mountain. I just don't see any other way for me. Day by day I find myself retreating more from society, ordering more stuff online, having more things delivered. I need to get out of this city, I need to get out …

Downs

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