I mean Jesus Christ people how fucking self absorbed are we?
I was on the subway (yes the subway again. AND I swear this is the bane of my existence.) And these 2 blind people get on with their seeing-eye dogs. Now they may have been taking up a bit of room. But FUCK they're blind man can't we cut these people a little slack? They're fucking blind. All these people were getting on and giving them dirty looks and attitude. To FUCKING BLIND PEOPLE!!! Like fuck man…Isn't that a bit fucking rude? I'm a prick and even I have my limits.
I am so sick of people man. I hope there are aliens out there somewhere. So they come down here and kidnap me so I can get the fuck away from you people.
I mean I went to a mall today with my roommate. (Yes I have a roommate. Can you imagine living with me?) It's Thanksgiving here in Canada. And idiots that we are, we thought we could go to the mall to pick up some of our last minute supplies. Jesus Christ, what were we thinking? From the moment we pulled into the parking lot we were surrounded by fucking idiots. People stealing parking spots, cutting you off to get 10 feet closer to the entrance. And then we get inside. We found our purchases with little effort, but then we got in line for a cash register. What the fuck is up with these people??? All they have to do is swipe the fucking UPC code and then ask for money. But oh no. The couple in front of us had to argue for 15 minutes about the fucking 5 dollar discount they were supposed to get. Fuck man I'll give you 5 bucks to the get the fuck out of the way. We were in line longer than it took to park and find the shit we needed to buy. I wish I were carrying an Uzi with me, I mean we need to start thinning the ranks of human beings.
The bottom line though is human beings are fucking assholes. Every single one of them. Every single one of you. You cut people off in the car, you butt in front of them at the movies, every single one of you is an asshole. You are all rude, self absorbed, not caring about anyone else, butting in line, parking spot stealing motherfucking assholes.
And so am I.
The difference is, I know I'm an asshole. I have never claimed to be any different. Why would I? I'm totally well adjusted. I'm fucking proud of it and I think you should be to. It's fucking human nature. I want every one of you gentle readers to stand up and cup your balls, or breasts or what have you in your hands and yell at the top of your lungs. "That's right you motherfuckers I am an asshole and I'm proud of it."
The truth brothers and sisters, shall set you free.
Downs
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