So despite the fact that summer is over, it is still hot as hell here in lovely Toronto. So thinking we would take advantage of the great weather, my fiancée and I headed down to what I like to refer to as the 5th ring of Hell.
We begin our adventure with our hero's trapped in a sweaty, stinking sardine can on wheels that the city of Toronto calls a street car. Between the urine smell coming off of one of the passengers and the humid as hell temperatures I'm surprised I didn't flip out. I mean this must happen every day, some angry fuckin guy, pushed and prodded just one time too many times on a hot day freaks out and kills a few people. I'll tell you if I hadn't moved quite a ways away from downtown, I think that asshole was gonna be me. I just can't help it man, people annoy the living fuck out of me.
So as the streetcar rockets by at a whopping 5MPH, I notice creepy derelict number 2 staring down my lady's chest. Now please someone tell me what I'm supposed to do here. I know what I want to do, but with all the political correctness and sympathy for crazy people I just don't know what I can legally get a way with here. Luckily someone with even larger breasts than my fiancée's (Is that even possible?) sits down and pervert here has someone else to ogle over.
So finally we are down on Queen Street and here is where it really gets bad. I mean there are the homeless drunk Indians, you never know what those crazy motherfuckers'll do. You've got punks, vamps, geriatrics, cops, snobs and everything else in between mixing into one annoying piece of humanity. You can't NOT bump into somebody when you are walking down Queen Street man. THAT's WHAT YOU DO DOWNTOWN. You walk in and out of little cutesy stores who are run by flamboyant gay men who seem to think everything is an antique and is worth way more than it is anywhere else in the world.
We were walking down the street and I saw some street vendor throw this homeless lady like 10 Ft. I was like damn man, anything can happen downtown. All bets are off down here. I don't know maybe it's just me? Maybe I'm just getting old but fuck man I can't stand it. If I see one more tattoo, or one more piercing I think I'm going to puke.
Luckily I only had one place to go, I was in and out and I was back on my way home. Where I would hide away, lock the doors, and bar society from getting to me. Think my thoughts and plot my revenge. One day we will be free from the assholes and the idiots this I pledge to each of you readers. While there is blood in these veins and beer in the fridge I will fight
Later.
Downs
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