It's true man, these fuckers are the gatekeepers and we my good listeners are paying quite heavily to be let through the door.
Here in lovely, clean, healthy Toronto we have basically two media giants who separate us from our hard earned cash every month and they are Bell and Rogers. They have bigger names yes, but they are known by those two ominous words.
Bell is short for Bell Canada, or the BCE Group if you want to get technical. However, Bell Canada is what we all grew up with, the government run national phone company.
Roger, or Rogers Communications Inc, the brain trust and life's work of one Ted Rogers. Well I for one just want to say FUCK TED ROGERS.
As all of you whom tune in every week already know I am moving. Actually by the time you have read this I will already be moved. However, what I am pissed about this week is the fact that these 2 fuckin giant corporations are full of assholes, they have an entire monopoly on this city and they have ZERO fucking customer service.
Rogers currently provides to me cable television service and cable Internet service. Now recently after being so pissed about cable TV I decided to get a satellite dish. I mean pre-empting WWE RAW on Monday nights to play hockey and baseball was just getting out of hand. Sure they are "real" sports, and sure this is hockey country but let me tell you something. WWE RAW is the highest rated program on cable television, ok not quite BUT it is the highest rated television program on the Canadian station that runs RAW. I couldn't take it anymore so fuck them I got a satellite.
So I'm calling up the cable company to complain, I have basic cable now (just for when the sat is out) and I have internet. So how come my cable bill is fucking $200.00 a month? I mean for fuck sakes how much does this shit cost? Well I'm speaking to Sandra who tells me that she can take a discretional fee off my bill of $25.00. What? A discretional fee, that you can just take off? WHY THE FUCK WAS IT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? These guys can just charge us stuff and get away with it? I mean isn't that a fuckin crime?
So THEN I was talking to Bell the other day. I was getting my new phone hooked up and thought, why go back to Rogers, I have the sat and Bell has high speed internet? So I was talking to Chet.
"Can I order the internet now, before my phone gets hooked up? This way I will do it the weekend I move and not really lose any downtime?"
"Uh no we need a phone line to know if you have the technology to run the apps," Chet.
"Don't you have my number right there Chet? Can't you look right there and tell me? Is there anything you need to do at my house to hook me up?"
"No we can't tell until the number is live. And no we don't actually DO anything at your house."
Now doesn't it make sense that if they knew then that I was signing up for that line that it could run the apps? I mean there was a number there before, couldn't they just look it up then? No apparently not. Apparently they have to wait until I'm all moved in, make me call again and wait on hold for another half hour to set it up. Now this is nothing like when I actually get the software sent and am going to be hooking it up. Because let me tell you, I'm a computer geek and hardly ever does this shit ever have half decent instructions. I mean I have coded websites, I know my way around a computer, yet I can't seem to get the internet running.
"Chet, if you don't set up my internet before I move I will go to Rogers."
"Well sir there is nothing I can do."
FUCK YOU CHET!
So I've had it, I'm going to set up my own communications company. I fucking mean it. I'll call it Fuck Bell and Fuck Rogers Communications Inc. And I will offer great customer service, I will make instructions that people can understand and I will have nice human people WHO SPEAK ENGLISH on the phone. Well no I never said I would make money.
Downs
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