Yes loyal readers, your fearless leader has committed himself to another, until the end of time. WOW. I know eh, I can imagine the gasps of horror from those of you who hate me, yet find yourself compelled to read week after week.
SO, the thing is though. What the fuck? I mean there are just way too many things to have to think about now. Like people are asking me questions that I have never really thought about. "So who is going to be your best man?" Fuck if I know, I haven't ever thought about this shit before man. AND it's a fuckin year away. But oh no, I was told that you have to get planning a wedding is big work. Well yeah no shit, but fuck man how much is this thing going to cost? Unfortunately my father lost his millions by betting that BETAMAX machines would be better than VHS. And my fiancé, (I just typed that) her parents disowned her when they found out she was marrying me.
So now you have, Mr. Angrywhiteboy, trying to plan a fun/cool/romantic wedding with his measly million he made on the internet stocks. LOL. But fuck man, I emailed this woman about this place I was thinking we could have the ceremony there, and the reception. But damn, like when it came back it was like in the thousands. But that's not it apparently, this guy at work told me his budget and I was like shit man how much stuff is there?
Well I am beginning to find out, there are flowers, there is food, there is booze which I plan to be having a lot of that night. There is the trapeze, the petting zoo, the wrestling ring I mean of course I'm getting married in a wrestling ring.
The thing is, this is supposed to be the most romantic time for your lover and you. You have committed to each other forever and both know it. Instead you are getting calls from fat Aunt Agatha asking if she is invited? I don't fucking know, I mean shit it's a year away. Calm the fuck down.
I may have to fly down to Vegas and just elope or something, I mean I can't deal with all these people. Photographers, Chefs, Organizers, and Planners can all kiss my ass right now. I am not going to make this fuckin thing this huge stressful event. If any of the people who are supposed to come have a problem with that, I'll tell you right now you can go fuck yourself. I am saying it, Go FUCK YOURSELF. Do not come to my wedding thinking you are in control, or that you are being treated unfairly. Cause I'll tell ya, I will kick your ass out so fuckin fast you wont know what day it is.
So there you go, merry fuckin me I'm engaged.
Downs
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