Now usually when I'm in a car fuming mad, it's other drivers I'm pissed at, but not this day my friends. No today my fury is directed at those of you who walk, but don't think.
First off, J-waking is normal, I do it all the time and I totally believe that it's ok, but sometimes it just gets out of hand. You know when people like run across the street in front of an oncoming car? See that is just fuckin' stupid. J-walking, is the art of walking across the street, but one of the key points to this is SURVIVING. The only time I ever walk across a street is when a car is not anywhere close to hitting me, doesn't that make sense? Well apparently not. I was driving home this afternoon and there was this truck in the middle of the road doing some type of construction. Well lo and behold, just past it are three fuckin' assholes trying to cross the street. Sure there was a cross walk 15 feet away, but oh no these cocksuckers thought that crossing while partially hidden by the construction was a good idea. Now see these people SHOULD be mowed down, no ifs ands or buts about it. I mean why the fuck is it my fault if this fucking cunt steps out and eats my dashboard? Not mine, I'll tell you that for free.
What about these fuckers who cross the street and don't seem to be able to move any faster than a snail? FUCK ME do I hate that, I mean pick up your goddamn feet and cross the fuckin road asshole. Doesn't this sound like an easy thing to do? Well FUCK NO, it's not. I think we should have a time limit on people crossing the street, say 10 seconds. After your ten seconds is up, it's free for people to start driving. I'll bet you a fuckin million dollars we'll see people hustling their asses then won't we?
My sheer hatred though is reserved for those fuckers who cross half the street, then walk up the middle of the road waiting to cross. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? I have a death wish and I don't do that. I mean shouldn't we be allowed to hit these people? They are out in the middle of the fuckin road? That is where we as human beings drive huge hulking metal objects at speeds that would take you out of your tennis shoes and hardly mark the hood. What is the thinking going on there in these people's minds? Are they daring someone to hit them? Seems like it! Well dare me again motherfucker.
You ever honk your horn at one of these fucks? I did that once and the fucker shot me the finger. Shot ME the finger. If my girlfriend wasn't in the car I would have reversed and ran that fucker over a couple times. So you know what I do now? If I see someone crossing, but they aren't that close to me, I swerve towards them. Fuck them, that will teach you a goddamn lesson. One of these days I'm gonna hit someone, just you wait and see. This is my road and you better watch the fuck out if you plan to be on it, especially if you aren't in a car.
Downs
Don't like what I have to say? Do you think I really care? Hit me here.
