So here in Toronto we have moved from winter right smack into summer. I love the summer, my favourite season out there, but god damn does it get humid as hell here. It's totally impossible to live in this city without some sort of air-conditioning; I don't know how people live without it. Seriously, I think it's the only thing keeping me sane.
I swear that there is something in the air when its really humid that makes normal every day people act like complete fucking idiots. I mean the driving gets 100 times worse. I was driving through some traffic the other day, it was dead stop, and humid as hell out. I saw a couple fucking idiots who just couldn't wait to get to their exits, driving up the shoulder and I swear this one guy was going to run someone off the road. He was so pissed at these assholes, he had no air conditioning and the sweat was pouring off of him. I had to slow down. I thought I was going to witness a falling down moment. Instead he probably went home and beat his wife and kids. Or went into some store where some 15 yr old didn't know his brand of cigarettes and tore a strip outta him.
I was walking up to the pub this afternoon and some fuckin dipshit had 2 boxes with the words "YARD SALE" on them out in the middle of the road. He had them weighed down with bricks, and a sign pointing down the street to his house. Give me a fucking break man, that is so fuckin' unsafe I mean who thinks this is a good idea? I mean isn't the sign taped to the hydro pole enough for this guy? Like what is the mentality here?
So next thing you know, my lady and I are sitting on a patio enjoying a cool beverage, when homeless Joe comes up. Fuck man, it's June first, this is my FIRST patio of the year, and I have to deal with this blubbering idiot? FUCK THAT. He started into his spiel about how this was different than your normal begging experience, and I immediately cut him off.
"Listen I said, I don't want to deal with this. So why don't you just go take a fuckin' hike, and we can all just go about our day."
Now let me interject here, I fuckin' hate when this shit happens. I don't live downtown, or party downtown for a reason: to get away from this fucking shit.
"Can you give me a cigarette buddy?"
"No actually I can't, now get the fuck out of here."
And he actually left, which was good. I mean yeah I was enjoying a beverage but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of kicking this guy into oncoming traffic.
The problem is bad weather keeps all the freaks out of your way. I mean freaks and losers hate rain and sleet and shit just as much as you and I. So you know what. FUCK IT. I just changed my mind, now winter is my new favourite time of the year. At least it keeps me safely tucked in my own little world of paranoia and Fritos.
Downs
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