Because I have to tell you, I am really getting pissed off with people. The weather turned nice here in sunny, warm Toronto and boy, am I paying for it. The good thing about winter is that it keeps all of the assholes cooped up in their houses. Not anymore!!! Maybe it's just me but fuck, there are so many fucking idiots out there.
I mean simple exercise, leave the office and grab some lunch. But no, my little stroll turns into a near killing. I walk over to the nearest Subway, now I have to say that this Subway isn't the best example of high quality and customer service but what can I say it's the only one in the area. So I go in and stand in line like a good little automaton and wait to tell the jackass behind the counter what I want to eat. Right off the bat there is a problem, some fuckin training group or something are ahead of me. Six people all fuckin hopped up on good feelings, they don't know what they want and they don't know the precise ordering procedure, nothing. So you can imagine my fuse gets lit as I sit waiting to place my order. The leader of the group gets to pay and this takes 10 mins before they are sure that they have paid for everything and can leave. So now I'm thinking ok, get my sub and back to the confines of my safe assholeless (except for me) office. Oh no, buddy sub maker wants to create my sub now, never mind the fact that there are 5 people in front of me in line, he wants me to yell what I want down the counter top to him. Fuck that. You wait till I get there mother fucker, I'm paying you to make me a sub and you will do so when I am good and fucking ready.
So by now I'm a bit more than mildly annoyed, but damnit I just might get out of here with a sub and not have to kill someone. Then the fucking jackass in front of me gets to the cashier. Well lookey here, he has coupons, how cute. AND he's buying his friends lunch. What a swell guy. Oh look, he can't use those coupons at THIS subway, as they have to be used at the issuing subway. Well no worries cause this twat has more, oh but wait…that drink you have sir, doesn't go with this coupon, you can get a fountain drink.
FOR FUCK SAKES. I had to grip the counter top with all my strength; I am about to fucking flip out. ALL I WANT IS TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH MY 6-INCH COLD CUT TRIO. Is that too much to ask? Am I being overly sensitive or too quick to anger? Well fuck you if I am. I don't ask for much, a little courtesy and some fucking common sense is all, but it just seems like I cant get it.
I am so fed up with this fucking world we live in it totally drives me insane. And it's getting worse, I can't go out in public anymore. Doesn't matter where I go, Wal-Mart, the grocery store, the comic book store, everywhere. Assholes and idiots surround me; the general population of the world is fucking jackasses. And I have to start doing something about it; just writing this weekly column isn't getting the job done. I'm going to have to start doubling my efforts, from now on, no more Mr. Polite. Fuck that. I am way too fucking nice, at work, at home. I let people walk over me and don't do anything about it. No More.
This guy is about to start to take matters into his own hands, whether it is vigilante justice or just plain old kicking ass, it's time to start thinning out the ranks people. We have as a society let these fucking rude, ignorant assholes get away with it for far too long.
I am coming for you, be prepared your days are numbered.
SO SAYETH THE SHEPERD
Downs
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