I hate Christmas. Now most of you are probably not surprised by that statement. It is pretty trendy to hate Christmas these days. The thing is, most people don't like it because of the commercialism of it. FUCK THAT. Any excuse for me to get shit for free is damn fine in my books.

What I hate about Xmas is that all of a sudden you are supposed to be nice to one another. What the fuck is up with that? Why do we need a special day or season to be kind to our fellow man? That's how fucking self-absorbed we are. We have to be told to be polite and courteous.

I mean why the fuck does the bus driver have to tell me happy holidays? I know he doesn't really mean it. He could give two fucks if I had a happy holiday. Do you think when he is sitting down to eat his turkey dinner or to bang his wife he is gonna think, "Gee I hope that fucking tattooed asshole on the bus has a great holiday."

I'll tell you he's not going to. And that is because in all honesty living in a big city, we don't really give a fuck about each other.

AND, now I have to go to all these goddamn house parties? Jesus Christ. I really don't give a flying fuck how you decorate your fucking tree. I don't want to come over and drink fucking mulled cider or any other mulled thing. And if any of you motherfuckers knock on my door singing carols you better be wearing Kevlar.

For Fuck sakes, now someone in the office is playing Christmas carols. People who are normally pricks and assholes suddenly are the nicest people in the world. Spreading their fake cheer around like a virus. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

If I see one person wearing one of those Santa hats, I am going to rip it off and shove it so far up their ass they will be shitting red until new years.

Downs

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