Wait, wait…let me explain.
We've all heard and read the various theories on our differences. The "men are from Mars and women from Venus" reasoning and other similar principles that work to define the elements that distinguish us from one another. Clearly it is obvious we are very different species and thus we interact with one another differently. If nothing else, the greatest minds of anthropology agree that men act one way around other men and a distinctly different way with women. This is a fact that can not be disputed. This is humanities 101. And based off these differences, we can safely conclude that it is impossible for the two sexes to have a friendship in the traditional sense.
For the purposes of this discussion, I don't mean casual acquaintances or part time buddys. Those are do-able. I am talking about close male and female platonic friends...which is an impossibility. No matter how you try to fool yourself, it can't be done. The greatest of us have tried and failed. I am sure most could confess to having slept with or fooled around with at least one (or more) of their opposite sex friends. It is impossible to have a close platonic friendship between a man and woman. No matter how you try, without fail, in time, it will become complicated. Guaranteed in all of these situations, there is always one person (the male OR female) that will be more interested in the other. Whether it is the guy who quietly loves the girl who currently has a boyfriend or the girl who always wanted to know how good the guy would be in bed. These imbalances, no matter how small, are always present when a man and woman become close friends. I have coined this the male/female friendship imbalance and this theory has yet to be disproved. Now I know there are those out there who will say "Ken and I have always just been friends…" and maybe you think you have. Sometimes these imbalances can sit below the surface for years before they become an issue. But don't be mislead, that awkward moment will come. That moment where he or she, likely after having been into the drink, will decide to declare their undying love for you. These imbalances are what ultimately inhibit men and women from having traditional friendships.
Need proof? Look at the NBC sitcom "Friends". A program revolving around 6 urban friends made up equally of men and women, living in New York City. Currently the show deals with the following: two of the characters being married, two of them having a baby together, and one of them being devoutly in love with another. These are the plotlines on a show about male and female "Friends"? Hmmm…art imitates life me thinks.
Now I am not saying that we can't have any sort of relationships with one another outside of the romantic. But there are certain stipulations that must be in place for these "types" of male/female friendships to exist.
1. Both the male and female must be involved in
their own committed relationship
OR)
2. One of the parties is not heterosexual
There needs to be a wall or sign erected that says
"no chance" or "off limits" for men and women to fully
be able to attempt a semblance of a platonic relationship. We can only
be completely "friend" comfortable when we feel there is no
opportunity (or risk in some cases) of sexual feelings. Without these
provisions in place, there will always be a hint of "I wonder if…"
or "if things were different…" on someones part. We can't
just be friends with the opposite sex…we simply are just too damn
appealing to one another. At least that's what my girlfriends think of
me…I hope.
…but that's just my opinion.
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