Example One:
Larry Holmes. Former IBF and WBC Heavyweight Boxing champion. Has the one of the most successful records in boxing. 68 wins and 6 losses, 44 of those wins by knockout. The man defeated Muhammad Ali for crying out loud. Granted Ali was not in his prime at the time but still he beat "The Greatest." Well obviously retirement hasn't been sitting too well with Larry and he's decided to come out of retirement for one more bout. Good grief. How many times have we heard this song? "I'm coming back one more time just to prove to the world that I've still got it." So on July 27th Larry's strapping on the gloves to face his final opponent. Now who is this opponent you ask? Who will be the lucky individual to have the privilege of becoming this pugilistic legends final opponent? Mike Tyson? Nope. Evander Holyfield? Sorry, no. Larry Holmes will end his magnanimous career by facing off against the infamous "Butterbean." Now there's a name, Butterbean. Holmes vs. Ali. Holmes vs. Holyfield. Holmes vs. Tyson. And now, to cap it all off, Holmes vs. Butterbean. Butterbean, a 6-foot, 355-pound, head shaven monstrosity. A veritable side show freak. Butterbean, a Tough Man Competition veteran who fights on the very fringe of the world of professional boxing. I tell ya, what a way to end a legacy. Why couldn't Larry just find some kitchen appliance to endorse like George Foreman? A blender, a juicer or some depilatory cream, anything!
Example Two:
Remember Evel Kenievel? Stunt cyclist who used to risk his life jumping over buses during the 60's and 70's? His infamous attempt to jump over Snake River Canyon sealed in a rocket-like device? Reputedly broke every single bone in his body? Was in a coma for 30 days due to a horrible crash after clearing the fountains at Caesars palace? This guy was probably the inventor of extreme sports before ESPN ever coined the term. He was and still is a household name. Whenever you think of a crazy nutcase launching himself on a motorcycle to his probable death, who do you think of? Evel Kenievel! Well good old Evel is 63 years old now and is the owner of a successful truck stop near Las Vegas. He suffers from severe arthritic pain due to his past escapades and in a recent interview has proclaimed that he wants to make one last jump. Not only does this geezer want to jump again, he wants to beat his previous record of 165 feet by making a 200-foot jump! What? Why? You're 63 years old! What do you have to prove? Not that I have any misgivings about senior citizens jumping school buses to their untimely deaths but I mean come on! Didn't you prove to the world already that you are one of the world's most marginally successful daredevils? Do you miss the sponge baths in traction that much? I ask you once again, what exactly is the point?
Fame and success are probably the most powerful narcotics on the planet. They can turn anyone into a spotlight starved junkie when the glamour and benefits of their past glories has passed them by. A smart person would sit back on their laurels and live the rest of their lives out in relative obscurity, warmed by the thoughts of their past achievements. But unfortunately for us we have to be the observers of these poor lost souls who still clamor for that last sweet taste of the limelight. The aging rock musicians who once filled stadiums with screaming fans now reduced to headlining at your local roadhouse or tavern. The former movie star idol that once garnered rave reviews from critics now starring in a direct to video release alongside a wise cracking robot. The television celebrity resorting to shilling merchandise on the Home Shopping Network or even a world-renowned web columnist reduced to posting his former highly regarded opinions on porno web sites message boards. Yikes! I don't even want to think about that one. Keep reading everyone! Please!
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