Okay there are a few important things that we must cover to help you on your way to becoming a successful first dater in order to get you to the ultimate prize. Does anyone know what that is? No, Frank it's not getting laid. While that is ultimately every man's goal it's not what you should expect out of your first date. Anyone? Anyone? It's a second date, you halfwits. If you can make it through the horrifying ordeal that is the first date and you actually get a chance to see this girl again, then you can consider yourself successful. The getting laid part comes later. You should not treat the first date as a chance to get this girl into bed that night. 93% of the time this isn't going to happen, unless of course you are on the show Blind Date. So try to keep your mind out of the gutter on your first meeting.

So? What should we do to prepare for a first date? First, assuming you've got the cahones to ask a girl out, you'll need to pick an activity for the outing. Creativity is a good thing when it comes to a date. If you have access to tickets to a show or event…not wrestling, that would be a good idea. But don't think the old standby of dinner or a drink is cliché; it's usually your best bet. It gives you a chance to really talk and get to know the other person. A movie, while entertaining is not the best juncture for sparking conversation. And if the movie sucks you're going to feel stupid.

Prepping for the date is also quite important. Make sure you have dressed appropriately and not like some idiot out of the rock era. Let's throw out those acid wash jeans and try something from this decade, hmm? I shouldn't have to be telling you guys this, but after the stories I've heard about Craig, try to have a shower people…please hunh?

Okay this is quite obvious stuff but make sure you pick up cash for the date. You don't want to be stuck with the bill and no cash. Pick this up before you pick her up. Call me crazy but I'm a firm believer in the person who did the inviting should also do the paying. That is just common sense. You might ask should I bring flowers? Well not a bad question but not always the most practical thing to do. If you're all ready to go and then you pick her up carrying a bunch of flowers it might make for an awkward situation. Now I know that girls are probably thinking 'Awkward, are you crazy? I love the flowers' but what is she going to do with them? She could bring them with her…too much of a pain. Throw them on her kitchen counter? Too insensitive. Take them in cut them down and arrange them perfectly in a vase? Okay, so now we're totally late. I think buying flowers for a girl is a great idea; the first date just may not be the best time. Not to mention if you totally blow it and never see her again, you're out like 20 bucks…on top of dinner.

Alright, so you've picked a place, you've got money, you're somewhat presentable, and we're going to assume that the girl hasn't come to her senses and called the whole thing off. Now you're ready for show time. Unfortunately we've run out of time this week and we'll have to continue with our date next week.

Don't forget to read chapters 6 and 7 in your text, "I'm not an idiot, I'm just a guy" for homework! And someone make sure Ted is in class next week, he needs to know this stuff.

To be continued…

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