I Gots To See Dem Ewoks!
It's a very sad sight to see. Every time I see them there I just shake my head and ask myself why? Fighting the cold evening air, huddled together, trying to share the collective warmth of their bodies to get them through the night. I think to myself, "How can they choose to survive under these harsh conditions?" I see empty bags of potato chips and twinkie wrappers littered around their shivering bodies. They can't even get a decent meal to eat, oh how I pity them. But as I think about it more, my pity turns into anger. There's no reason why they should be sleeping on the street? I mean they're relatively young people. Why the hell can't they just get of their asses and be part of normal society?! They don't have to be in this situation if they really don't want to! And why should I, as a decent citizen, have to put up with them lying all over the sidewalk! I don't! And that's when I get really angry and I start screaming at them.

"Hey! Idiots! You realize Attack of the Clones doesn't open for at least another four weeks!"

I scamper off into the night before I can hear a retort. The last thing any person wants to face in the middle of the night is a pack of rabid Star Wars fans.

So it's starting up again. Star Wars fever! Much like they did for Episode One, fans in Los Angeles are lining up in front of Mann's Chinese Theatre vying to be one the privileged thousands who will have seen the movie first before anyone else. This usually sets off a chain reaction across the continent inspiring other Star Wars lunatics to camp out in front of their local theatres so that they themselves may be part of the privileged "I seened it first" club. The question I ask myself is who are these people? I like movies, all kinds of movies, but not once did I ever feel the urge to pack up my jammies and get out my sleeping bag so that I could be first in line to see something on the big screen. Nor have I ever felt it necessary to glue horns on the top of my head and carry simulated light sabers into a theatre to fully enjoy any of these films. Yes I understand it's freakin' Star Wars. I know there's going to be Jedi's flying all over the place with light sabers and explosions a plenty, trust me I'm looking forward to seeing it as much as the next guy. But I really don't deem it necessary to waste my valuable time to become one of the first Jedi enthusiasts to walk into the theatre and view the latest cinematic masterpiece with virgin eyes. I can wait. Believe it or not I have the ability to wait out the impending storm that is opening night, wait a couple of days and see this galactic opus in a relatively comfortable manner. I understand there is certain feeling of pride in obtaining that badge of honour that comes with seeing a film such as this on opening night. Years later you can hypnotize your grandchildren into boredom with the harrowing tale of waiting in line for 18 hours through the pouring rain and sleet, wax poetic about the price of popcorn and explain what it was like to watch Attack Of The Clones without the comfortable benefits of hover chairs. Honestly, that is one story I can do without.

Once Attack Of The Clones hits the theatres, everyone will be going apeshit. Gotta see it?! Have you seen it?! I've seen it 8 times already! Is it as good as Empire!? You haven't seen it? You gotta go! I'll go with you! Let's go now! I've seen it 8 times already! You should see this one part! Never mind I won't tell you! Go see it! I don't plan to be one of these people. I'll probably give it a week or two before I go see it. It'll hurt me to wait that long but at least I won't have to kill anyone on my way into the theatre. I'll walk in nice and easy, get my ticket, buy some refreshments with my credit card and find a comfortable seat right in the middle of the theatre. Ahhh, now bring on those ewoks!

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