When we are young we think we have it all figured out. We think we are one step ahead of authority. We think adults are ignorant and plainly just don't get it. We figure thanks to our keen wit we can concoct machiavellian-like plans that will easily pull the wool over the eyes of the unsuspecting grown ups. Little do we know that these unaware and uninformed squares were once teenagers too. Though it may seem like an obvious revelation the actions of teenagers throughout time proves that they are incapable of realizing this fact.
Take for example the old having sex in the parents basement routine. Who will know right? Guess what…they know. Do we actually think that they believe we are just watching a movie while sitting under a blanket down there in the semi furnished basement? Our parents will never realize what we are truly doing they will merely think we have just opted to watch television on a 13 inch monitor in an unheated basement with concrete floors and exposed insulation. They will never suspect that we are bumping uglies with our girlfriend to soothe our young sexual urges. God no. Silly parents.
Or perhaps the underage drinking ruse we all tried at one time to pull off. What parent could possibly discover that we are stealing booze from their liquor cabinets? These fools will never realize that we have been pilfering their rye because we have so wisely replenished the bottle with…water. Yes, water. Don't most chipmunks know that water and alcohol don't mix? Obviously chemistry is not a priority to many of us at this age.
My personal favourite is how teenagers feel they can effectively hide the symptoms of being drunk through the use of gum. When we show up corked to the high school dances no one will sense our intoxication thanks to the wads of gum we have shoved into our mouths. What mastermind could unravel such inspired trickery? We can drink 11 beers and still gain easy entry into the prom as long we stuff our mouths to near swollen capacities with hubba bubba. We can't walk straight, we are sweating profusely, and your friend has dried vomit on his shirt but as long as we have gum…the illusion of sobriety will be complete. I mean what teacher could foil this scheme?
I find it ironic that I have friends that are teachers now. Why you ask? Because these are the same jerks that were pulling the drunk gum cover up with me just a few odd years ago. Will these new teachers be fooled by the sixteen year old winos stumbling up to the football games? Hell no. They can smell that a mile away. Some of my friends who are teachers now, like to think they created the gum in the mouth anti-hammered scheme. So why would it have been any different with the teachers when we were young?
As teens we live in an impenetrable mindset. A world all to our own. Though we think we know everything in reality we think quite small minded. It is beyond our grasp at that age to ponder that we aren't the first ones to do these things. Trust me your parents and teachers were all teenagers once and we're likely trying to pull off all the same stunts you are. Teens are always going to rebel but what they need to realize is they aren't the first to revolt. We've all been punks before junior. None of these tricks you are pulling are new. Authority isn't as uncool as you think…they know what you are doing and in fact, in some cases they are letting you get away with more then you know.
So keep sneaking around
and scheming kids but know this… been there, done that.
...but that's just
my opinion.
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