Dear Dr. Know,
I'm having some trouble and I think you're just the right man to help me. You see, I keep trying to get my boyfriend to spice things up in the bedroom, but he just doesn't seem to take the hint. The sex is great - don't get me wrong - but I'm definitely open to trying new things and want to keep it all interesting. I've made some light-hearted threats about tying him to the bed - and he'll express a laughing interest - but he never appears truly interested in exploring the less conservative side of things. I try to introduce the topic in joking ways - offering to buy whipped cream and even trying to take him shopping at an "Adults Only" type of store.
How do I get him to be a little more daring?
Signed
Tied to Conservative (and not the bed!)Dear Tied or, should I call you Freak,
I have to say, there are many, many men I know who would love you to be their girl. I have heard this statement so many times from them, but never from a woman. Not to offend all you daring female readers out there, of course. I know you exist; in fact I have met some of you. There are many women who want to inject a little summin', summin' into their sex life. Men have a problem figuring that out though. Surprisingly, most times it is the woman who desires more from the bedroom but just isn't quite sure how to go about achieving it.
You see Freak; we are different beings, to the core. And for us to truly understand each other we need to modify our thinking, to try and understand how the others mind works. There are many people, of both sexes who think they have it figured out. The rules, How to spice up your love life, Treat your man right, Love your woman like she deserves, the list goes on. In fact you probably have some friends with great opinions on this subject...I can hear them now 'I know men, just tickle his instep, he'll get right naughty then'. Well, that's not how it works; there isn't a prescription for love. Anyone who believes this probably hasn't truly felt it.
You and the mister have to find your own way. A little later I will recommend some steps to take, but for now you're going to have to put up with me for a few sentences. If this really bothers you; then, hey, why don't you go get it from somewhere else (I know of a few fellas I could send to 'interview' you)? You have to throw your best foot forward and be honest. If he isn't willing then that may lead to you making a decision. If it isn't tabled now, then you will be living the rest of your days with this one tolerating an unhappy sex life. If you can douse your freaky ways and accept missionary every time, then good for you. If you can't, this is just going to get worse. So, after trying my little tips sit down and think *allusion alert, allusion alert* long and hard about what you need from a partner and what your willing to take from a partner in the bedroom. Those things may differ and you may have to live with that, but if you can't, you may need to get out.
Since most men aspire to be kings of their bedroom, you may need to let him feel like he is in control and directing the traffic. A little 'spank me' during the act may give him the courage he needs. The sad fact is by 'joking' about it during a conversation he may only see it as such, even if he is waiting to unleash the freak in himself.
Now this could all be untrue and he is a conservative at heart. In that case if it's important enough to you, you may have to walk.On to the tips...
Dr. Know's 4-step Get Your Freak On program
(Patent Pending in most countries)
1 - Give him permission. i.e. 'Do it ...'
2 - Beg him to order you to do something. i.e. 'Can I please ...'
3 - Get him right stinking horny and drunk, completely take advantage of him and act out your fantasy.
4 - Email drknow@boldopinion.com if none of this works.There is much sex happening in the world. And many more freaks than you think.
Dr. Know
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