Bonjour,
Okay. My problem does not concern love or sex, but it's still fun to read. I am an atheist. A happy atheist - that isn't my problem - but a married one (married to an agnostic) related to religious freaks. We're trying to have a baby, and my family's all "you can baptise him at the church you got married in" (we got married in a church because it was beautiful and free) or "I know a great (read: not-a-kiddie-toucher) priest..." We want our kid to be free of religious obligations/rules/rituals and my family is in disbelief. "Oh, you and your children won't want to be around when Jesus leaves you burning and takes everyone else to heaven, right?" they say. At first I found it funny - I admit, I've laughed in their faces (immature, I know); but recently, my mom was crying about this and my grandmother claims she has to pray "twice as hard" They're so upset. Should I toss my convictions out the door like I toss Jehovah's Witnesses (I have, but that's another story) and baptise the darn kid? Or should I stand by my belief - that organised religion makes the world a shitty place - and create another iconoclast, another "damned soul"?
The Happy-But-Troubled Atheist.
Hello to you to Happy-But-Troubled.
I just started my own church, you can to here.
Before we start let's give some definitions to the world out there:Atheist - One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.
Agnostic - One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
Religious - Having or showing belief in and reverence for God or a deity.
Seem pretty simple to me, we all should be able to get along and respect each other's beliefs...yet we have*Trumpet sound*
Fundamentalism - A usually religious movement or point of view characterized by a return to fundamental principles, by rigid adherence to those principles, and often by intolerance of other views and opposition to secularism.
You need to weigh two issues:
Belief and respect.
Belief is both very powerful and powerless. It can move mountains if your belief is pure or it can crumble like a house of cards that was just farted on. If you have an all-encompassing, burning belief that you will, lets say, be a shoe-cobbler, its most likely that you will achieve this. You will let nothing get in the way of this goal and you will make it so. The same can be said for a belief like Catholicism/et al. If belief is that strong it will accomplish something, more often than not that something is not good (see definition of fundamentalism).
Never will Gods existence be proved to the point where every single person will look at this proof and say ' Shit, you were right. I guess I better convert.' That's the point of religion. It keeps hope alive in all times, good and bad. You may end up in (insert your individual religion's realm of punishment) if it turns out there is such a place, just for choosing to forsake God and be an atheist. But your daughter will never know that, because you won't pop back to earth to let her in on the secret. In the same vein, your pure of heart catholic Grandmother may only end up in a box in the ground because you were right and there is no God. But, she won't be able to come back to tell anyone to change their ways either.
So the answer is, believe in nothing and you will never be let down.
Respect is another piece of this puzzle.
There is nothing wrong with being an atheist and attending your parents or grandparents church on holidays and such out of respect for them. I'm sure you did this for a large chunk of your adolescent years. Hung over, tired, pissed off and still aching from the premarital, unprotected, multiple partner orgy that finished 20 minutes before you were awoke by your Grandma.
At the end of the day, you will not break hearts and bonds with your family if you make a decision not to baptize the child. If this choice you and your husband make does break family ties - your family is not worth it. They have to have as much respect for you as you need to have for them (as you proved it after your mad orgies). This is your choice until the child is old enough to make her own choice. Everyone needs to understand this. Unless you're breaking laws you can influence the child anyway you like. I have had many discussions in the past about bringing up a child in isolation with the belief that he is the sole saviour of the human race. As the child grows, hilarity ensues.
And there is nothing wrong with allowing them the opportunity to affect your child's life by opening their faith to her. When they kidnap her and take her to church, that's too much. At that stage you need to let them know that you have found God, Christians and Domination/Submission style. After you tell them this, they'll settle down, trust me.
As time moves on she will make her own decision and it may not be what you want nor what your parents want. There is always the International Chivalric Order Solar Tradition or the ever poplular, Church of Scientology.
Have some faith that you and yours will bring up a well-adjusted person.Preferably not a Fundamentalist.
Dr. Know
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