Dear Dr. Know,
Maybe you can help me out with the male perspective. I recently went away with a guy for an all expenses paid weekend through his work. That being the case I had to act the role of the "girlfriend" all weekend, with suppliers, bosses, etc. We had a great time and yes I mean that it in every way. When we get back he says I'll call you. We email a few times and then nothing??
It has been over a month now and still nothing. I feel hurt and bit used.
Should I contact him or just let it go?P.S. This is not just someone I met. There is a history of dating and being friends with this guy. I will also have to see him again b/c he is a good friend of my friends' boyfriend. How should I handle it? Should I confront him on how he made me feel?
Georgia Peach
Georgia Peach,
If you are truly as much of a peach as your name and email suggest, I have a boldopinion conference in France in two weeks; are you interested in coming along? You know, you may have to play the role of the girlfriend a bit and yes I mean a bit but it will be fun! All expenses paid...
WAIT !
Before you zip me back an email agreeing to this preposterous proposal (quoth Burt Ward) stop and think for a minute. Is it really true that a fine upstanding member of the community such as Dr. Know would casually use someone as sweet and innocent as Georgia (the girl next door) Peach? I'll let the readers' decide that one on their own.And Georgia, to spell it out for you. Your little friend seems to want to have his cake (you) and eat it too (you). You have a history of dating and being friends with this guy. That's a recipe for disaster; I'm quite surprised no one has alerted you to this yet. Do you have any friends?
If you have ever had additional feelings beyond some friendship and casual sex, continuing to be this guys 'off and on girl' is absolutely the worst way to communicate those feelings.
You have a few options:
1. This guy is slime. You should get your friend to dump her boyfriend in retaliation to this emotionally destructive trip his buddy just took you on.
Totally the funnest and most dramatic option facing you. But, alas, he must pay. I vote to ruin his friends life - ruining his life is impossible, I mean you're giving him it all now, by taking it away he just gets it somewhere else.
2. Figure out who you are. See description of user/usee below. Take appropiate action.
Unless you are the user in this pseudo-relationship (something I doubt by your comments above) you are the usee* (*usee - Trademark and Copyright Dr. Know, www.boldopinion.com, for a complete definition and accompanying book of letters please send £900.00 via playpal to drknow@boldopinion.com).
Which means, halt all contact. 'Cause honey, you're bein' schooled.
3. If I have read this letter COMPLETELY incorrectly and you are only buddies and are both emotionally capable of handling a casual relationship. Do nothing.
Chances of number 3 being the correct route 1:1,000,000,000.
Let me put it another way -You used him to go on this cool, fun, free trip (smart).
He used you as a crutch because he can't commit to a woman (wussy). And for some other thing that rhymes with wussy.At the end of the day - He is not worth your time.
Please, Please, GWAD - update me on the situation. Especially if you decide to go with option one.
*yawn* That was an easy one.
Dr. Know
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