Doctor,
I have a problem. I am change when I get drunk, when I drink allot I get loud, obnoxious and sometimes violent. Its not that I get drunken 7 days a week or have to have a drink every morning. It just when I get drunk, like 2 or 3 days a week I get very unstable. I don't think that I am an alcoholic but I do think that I need to fix this problem. I am embarrassed that I am this way. To my friends I am the funny. Weird drunk. But I am seriously affected by this. I am not a nice person when I get drunk. I like to go out and get messed up and have fun but I am starting to get worried that I may have a problem. Any thoughts?

Wondering what to do in Phoenix

 

Well, Well, Well, Wondering. Were you drunk writing this email? ….I thought so.

You neglected to tell me your age. That probably means you are:
Under the legal drinking age in your state
Or
Above the legal drinking age and are embarrassed that you cannot control your alcohol.

Since you didn't have the sense to tell me this little but extremely important fact I am going to have to do you both ways (if you know what I mean).

So, if you are 16. I have a few things to say; you are probably a pretty popular one right now aren't you? Hanging with all your gang, partying harder than most. I am sure you're getting all the attention you want and more. That's ok, when your 16. But you're only 16 for a short, short time. Teenagers are allowed to experiment till they puke. BUT (and that's a capital but)…

You have about 2 years to get a handle on this problem. It's fun when you are introduced to alcohol. You get to see who can get blitzed the fastest, mostest, insert whatever descriptor floats your boat. That fun ends real soon.

If you do fall into the latter category. Shame on you. Keep drinking; why not try driving as well? It makes the sport that much more fun. You my friend need to take inventory of your life and correct it. I can see there are some problems. Grow the F up. Get some self-respect. Call someone. Anyone.

Regardless of what category you fall into, here are some whimsical words of advice from the Doc.

Alcoholism is a very serious illness. There I said it, I didn't even chuckle like I normally would when uttering those idiotic words. Lets be honest, 'it be hard, damn hard' to control oneself. Alcohol is not the root of your problem Wondering. Whether you are 16 or 60. You can't control yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I love the alcoholics. Don't let anyone tell you that Dr. Know hates the alkies. Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. Some of my best friends are alcoholics. They are usually the funnest additions to parties. The issue I have is with calling it alcoholism. That is misdiagnosing a problem. The problem is not a physical addiction to alcohol; it is a mental addition to the free, consequence-less state that alcohol induces.

So first things first, Wondering please do not try to take up another exhilarating stimulant to wean yourself off of the booze. That won't work, it will become a substitute for the alcohol and you will find yourself in the same situation with another crutch.

The first realization you have to come to is, do you have the control to handle this type of stimulant? If you can't answer that question with a strong YES, then you need to start learning this control. If you can't learn this control then you've just got to stop drinking. Tell your drinking buddies that they have to limit you 'cause you're a baby and can't do it yourself. Even better, find new buddies, buddies that aren't enablers. People who say things like 'Wondering is great, just you wait until he gets a 24 into him'. They just aren't your friends. Or they don't understand that there is a problem surfacing and that still makes them not your friends.

So good luck to you, I hope you can find a way out of the forest (geez, I'm getting pouffy in my old age). If you can't you best not show up at any BdotO parties because the missing in action Downs isn't happy right now, and he may just take it out on you.

 

Please show me to the bar,

Dr. Know

You got a question for the good Doctor? Click here
or email to drknow@boldopinion.com

Click here for more advice from Dr. Know