Hello,
I'm 27, 6ft 5, wear specs and still I am a virgin, I meet girl's of my
friends but never seem to hit it off, to the point where I can feel comfortable
in asking for their phone number. I have asking women out before but with
no success, so tend not to ask so much. I know that if you take rejection
to heart you tend to give up, and although maybe a bit old to be a virgin,
I haven't totally given up on women, I don't even feel depressed about
my situation much, I suppose if I ain't had it, I don't know what I'm
missing, if you see what I mean. When I was younger I used to like dancing
at clubs and that seemed to work in attracting girls, but I never knew
what to do, when say a girl started dancing in front of me, strangely
they usually danced with their back to me, I guess this is women's body
language or something, but more recently I seem to have become content
with going out drinking and dancing less. Though unfortunately this brings
more problems, as I don't do alot of exercise I tend to put on weight
making myself become less attractive to women and lessoning my self-confidence.
On a recent trip to a nearby city which I have been to before clubbing
on my own I had no problem attracting women on the dance floor, but still
lacked that important bit, the 'hi, how you doing, or you look really
nice', not sure what to try next and not wanting to try dating agencies
at my age, I turned to the web and found you site, great advice, it's
just putting it into practice.
I apologize for ranting on, and although I do have lots of friends who
on the whole have girlfriends they don't really appear to know what my
life is like or be too interested in finding out, I mean with their circle
of friends surely they could set me up with someone, maybe they think
I wouldn't appreciate the intrusion, hmm. So I've turned to you, oh wise
one. (Not knowing of course whether or not you actually give advice to
individual cases)
NOJO
NOJO,
My colleague Andrew is a very busy man, but we at BdotO are never too
busy for a reader. He has routed your letter into my mailbox and I decided
to put aside the letter from GRANGE in Florida and have a heart to heart
with you. I advise you first to take a read through the site and you will
see that I, Dr. Know am about nothing but advice to the forlorn; be it
in love, fixing a tire, starting a fire or answering those questions that
have been floating in your head all your life.
NOJO, I sympathize (although I cannot relate, I certainly can sympathize) with your plight and you seem to have an impressive take on the situation. Mature, calm and colleted. Honestly, you are a bit of a dream submitter to one such as I. Your missive has blown the dreck that comes in on a weekly basis away.
On to the advice that only I can give...
Now at the end of my tirade I will certainly give you a list of what are
deemed 'pickup lines' for you to try when you are out at bars. That will
have to take a back seat at this time, as I need to address some other
facts within your letter. There are a few key words in your letter that
you should go back, reread and make note of. These words are: to, the,
can, I, am, going.
Be right back…
Actually those aren't the words, but funny nonetheless.
The words are: confidence and attraction.
Self-confidence is the hottest thing to a girl. To be comfortable in your
own skin is something most people strive for and is something that you
should put on your list when searching for a gal-pal. There is a very
fine line between confidence and conceit, you can see it in others but
sometimes it's hard to see in yourself. If you exhibit conceit you will
go nowhere, if you exude confidence you are a complete and utter catch.
Your letter speaks volumes towards your confidence level. I recall that
you are a bit of a dancin' machine, haven't given up, don't feel depressed
and speak frankly about your weight. If women read this letter, or if
you spoke as honestly to them as you did to us women would be knockin'
down your door.
You also seem to be able to attract the women into your life but are unable to (as some lesser men would say) 'close the deal'. Perhaps you are choosing the wrong type of girls, or going to the wrong places to meet these girls. Bars are horrendously difficult for the average guy to meet a girl. There are too many factors stacked up against men in this venue. The good pieces are alcohol, music and dim lighting. The bad pieces are alcohol, smarmy player types and tight shirts. I think you need to learn that there are much better places to meet women than bars. Bars should be used to go out and have fun with your friends. You should never walk into a bar expecting to pick up a girl, well unless you are a writer for a popular website, it's a bit of a curse for the gang at BdotO. But with celebrity comes adoring fans, and we do love our adoring fans. So NOJO, stop thinking the only way to meet girls is at a bar. It won't happen. And you can't expect your friends to meet girls for you. The friend set up sounds great but really can be a problem. Try a few times and you will see.
What about the grocery store, a cooking class, a comic store, at work,
joining a team (this will answer your weight gain problem), these are
all better places to meet than at some bar.
Now if you insist to continue with the bar search here are some guaranteed
lines that will work.
· Spill a drink on her and say 'oh mi gawd, let's go get you out
of those wet clothes.' All the while staring at nothing but her breasts.
She will understand the humour in the situation and you will be gettin'
biizzaah by the end of the night. Try using red wine; it works best on
white shirts.
· Find a filly in line for a dink, bud in front of her and order
two shots, say 'while you're waiting for your drink, have a body shot
with me. It's all good.' This line works wonders when you enunciate it
correctly. The emphasis is to be on 'It's all good.' in a pimp like way.
· When you are dancing and a girl is purposely dancing with her
back to you, you need to snuggle up and tap that ass. Learn some effective
grinding techniques by watching the Retro Boogie Dance Party, or Nelly's
'Hot in Here' video.
*sigh*
NOJO, all in all you kind of surprise me. Judging by your letter it seems
you have a good head on your shoulders. Not long now, is all I can say.
The ladies will be coming to you. Spike up that confidence level, choose
a song and learn to strut to it. You have no problems at all my friend.
And one final recommend.
Go get laid, it's kinda fun.
Dr. Know
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