need help!!!

i have a question tat have been in my mind for quite
somrtime. the question is, will monetary rewards
affect a person's work attitude??

i really want to know more... please help me.
thank you.

from,

curious gal

 

Curious Gal,

Monetary rewards do affect work attitude, there is no question about that. A better question is should monetary rewards affect work attitude? For example, it is obvious that you were not being paid to write this email, hence the spelling errors. I understand that within the global environment that the internet is, it could be likely that you are not fully English competent. That's ok, I am a bit of an idiot savant myself and not fully half-wit competent. To that end, lets get to the bottom of your question.

Bill Gates isn't really driven by monetary rewards; he is driven by power and control. No matter what you offered Billy Boy, he will continue to lie, cheat and steal to ensure that Windoze's monopolistic position continues. Therefore, the only thing you may dangle in front of Bill is omniscience. And if you are handing that out, please throw some my way.

Doctors on the other hand are driven by monetary compensation. In fact, we see that in countries where a salary cap exists, they get the F out. Moving to the nearest (read: richest) country where they can bilk and hustle they're way to owning an island.

The bills drive prostitutes as well. I have it from good authority that a $20 blowjob doesn't even compare to a $100 blowjob.

Actors are a great example of quality of work not increasing with financial success. We need only to look at the last shitfests the following actors have made: Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Tom Hanks, Jim Carrey, Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Vin Diesel, honestly the list goes on. I think it's obvious that these people are rewarded only by presence in the press. Nothing else. 'Hey Tom, your last 3 movies were ass.' 'Yeah, no shit, but wasn't that divorce thing great, oh and my closet homosexuality rumor...awesome.' Yeah, whatever.

A few jobs that are not driven by monetary rewards are: Police, Fire Services, Ambulance Drivers, Humanitarians and Activists. Cops, Fire persons and Ambulance Drivers work for a few pence an hour and save lives. That is a great thing, should they be paid more? Probably, this way the corruption wouldn't run so far. There is nothing worse than a dirty cop or your grandmother dying because the Ambulance Driver was on their coffee break. Humanitarians and Activists for the most part are not driven by money. It's not their fault that the majority of them were born into riches. Living off of mommy and daddy's money they have been striving to take down the corporate machine just 'cause they can.

I happen to have a job outside of this column and let me tell you, they shower me with riches. Does that affect my work attitude towards this column? Hell no. I am not paid a single dime, actually the mooks on the front page cut off my cheeseburger allowance 2 weeks ago. You see there are fringe benefits to this column that probably aren't included within the scope of monetary rewards. From flying across the globe performing seminars for pitiful people like you to nightly 'boldies' (a term we at the website have coined for our adoring female fans, who just can't get enough B-dot-O). You see although my Porsche, house in the Hamptons and private jet are purchased with *ugh* corporate cash, I fulfill myself and many others just like you by 'putting myself out there'. Giving back to the global community from whom the corporate slimes have been stealing to pay my measly salary. You can trust I will forever be a sympathetic and smarmy ear to your questions.

Monetary rewards shouldn't really affect work attitude, but we are human and we are fallible. Sometimes they do. Especially when your job is to shovel some awful smelly stuff from one pile to another. It would be a fantastic world if everyone were enthusiastic, passionate and dedicated to his or her work regardless of pay.

But Candyland is only a game.

 

Bing Bang Baby.

Dr. Know

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