What the hell was dodge ball supposed to be teaching us?
For those that don't remember, dodge ball was a barbaric like game where one or two players were the 'taggers' and by using a large rubber ball had to tag the other players (who were confined within a circle) by hitting them extremely hard with the ball. Any player that gets tagged was out and became a "tagger". This went on until there was only one survivor…err player left within the circle. Quite honestly this was not a game rather it was a form of torture. Let's place a dozen ten year old students inside of a small confined space and let them scramble to avoid being pulverized by a large plastic ball being hurled at them by their spastic peers. What exactly was this preparing kids for? For being in a firing line? Hunting? Fearing the cold hand of death? What?
If you wanted to see the true face of fear, you need look no further than a game of dodge ball at your local elementary school. It was a truly horrifying experience. When a dodge ball game was announced during gym class a hush fell over the gymnasium. Kid's faces instantly turned as pale as ghosts as the death march towards the dodge ball circle commenced. Then as the game started, panic would break out like a bomb just exploded. Instantly within the circle the intended "taggees" would frantically run around, knocking into one another to avoid being blasted with the ball. All you could hear was the frenzied sound of footsteps and heavy breathing as kids shuffled right, then left, then right, to desperately stay out of harms way. The taggers would be screeching like a pack of hyenas as they rambunctiously cheered on the carnage. And let me tell you, those balls stung, these weren't nerf balls we were dodging. But what else would you expect from a game that was also coined amongst school yards as Murder Ball?
Afternoons of murder ball…no, this isn't going to require therapy.
I believe I actually remember my grade school gym teachers getting some perverse pleasure over dodge ball games. Almost as if they were trying to hold back the laughter at watching clumsy nine year olds getting their legs taken out from beneath them from the intensity of the propulsion of the ball. I think that was the only reason it was played so our teachers could have a chuckle at the expense of seeing us run for our lives or perhaps they wanted some form of payback for the horrors that were inflicted on them years ago within the dodge ball circle. For whatever reason, I really don't understand why as children we are put through this punishment and worse yet at regulated gym time in our school of all places? They actually tried to pass this mistreatment off as a sport? Dodge ball a sport? If this was such a normal gym class sport, why didn't we ever play it past grade 8? I guess they figured at the ripe age of twelve we had mastered the skills of avoiding fast moving flying objects and throwing balls at people? Righttttttt…..
Dodge this Mr. Gym Teacher!
…but that's just
my opinion.
Piss
off your pal! Send this article to a friend
Got something to say about this article? Say it Here! or mail to michael@boldopinion.com
