Awhile back I wrote a little article called, “Trading Spaces? Never…Umm…Seen It.” In this article I admitted that I somewhat enjoyed watching the occasional episode when I’m hunkered down on the couch with my woman. Who am I to refuse the television yearnings of a lady? If anything, I am always the gentleman when it comes to sharing the experience that is television with the fairer sex. This symbiotic television viewing relationship at first was quite pleasant. We would watch this decorating show and then I would get to watch something with a car chase or voluptuous girls in bikinis devouring frog’s intestines. It was an amicable relationship. I’d watch a little of hers and she would watch a little of mine. But then something changed. Now I don’t know if this is a recent development, but it seems the television programming landscape has radically swung in a new direction.

Maybe I’ve missed something along the way, but didn’t there only used to be two interior decorating shows on television? One obviously being the infamous “Trading Spaces” and the other that “While You Were Out” show. Well according to my girlfriend’s recent television viewing habits, I would be absolutely wrong. I really don’t know when the hell this ever happened, but it seems that about ninety percent of the shows on television as of late just happen to be about interior decorating. Every single friggin’ night there is a show on that has stunned individuals marveling at their newly recovered couch or gasping for breath at the beauty of their cranberry painted walls. Crap on a crutch! There is absolutely no possible way to escape the fury of this home decorating invasion. I mean just take a gander in your TV Guide and you’ll see what I mean. “Trading Spaces” on its own has spawned two spin-offs. “Trading Spaces – Family”, where entire families get to experience the joy that is decorating and now “Trading Spaces – Boys vs. Girls.” This one in particular kills me. This shows has young children follow the concept of it’s mother show, in which boys and girls with the help of experienced designers, decorate each others bedrooms. It airs on Saturday morning. Excuse me? What was that? IT AIRS ON SATURDAY MORNING. Saturday morning? Saturday morning?! At what point did today’s youth suddenly care more about the what kind of curtains someone is putting up in their bedroom than wondering how the heck Shaggy and Scooby are going to find out who’s haunting the amusement park? Is anyone thinking about the children?

Go turn on your TV. I guarun-damn-tee in under ten seconds you will find a show with some kind of interior decorating slant to it. There’s this “Clean Sweep” show where the hosts come in reorganize some couples shamble of a household and decorate a couple of rooms while they’re at it. “Designing For The Sexes”, a husband and wife who have different tastes in style and require a decorator to come in and amicably settle that burgeoning marriage breaker which is where in the hell should they put they couch.

There are hundreds more. House Rules, Rally Round The House, Decorating Cents, Design On A Dime, Room By Room, blah and blah and blah. It’s an epidemic! Since when has interior design become such a popular point of interest amongst the television viewing audience? If this continues, pretty soon every single television show will have some decorating slant to it. God help us all.

“Tonight’s top stories, Man lands on Mars, Possible cure for cancer and President to travel back in time, but first the latest on a new development in wallpaper…”

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