Come On Down! It's Time For Pain!!
One of my favourite TV shows of all time has got to be "The Price Is Right." I loved this show. Slack jawed yokels from across the nation cheering like madmen in the hope of being picked from the audience and getting on stage with the immortal Bob Barker. Contestants participating in games like Plinko!, Cliff Hanger, or the nail biting Clock Game with visions of multi-speed blenders and bumper pool tables dancing around their heads. Spinning gigantic wheels and bidding on fantastic showcases of prizes. It is a jam-packed hour of dizzying highs and devastating lows. In the 30 years this show has been on the air, the show's format has barely changed, not one iota. But, let's say for example the show's format was to change slightly. Say instead of spinning the big wheel to enter the showcase showdown you would instead compete with the other contestants in a leech-eating contest? Or say, instead of guessing the correct price of fabric softener in order to win a car you were required to high dive into a vat of hydrochloric acid? You think I'm crazy? I say not. Take a good look at your television guide because the traditional game show format has radically changed.

ABC, trying to capitalize on the success of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", has introduced its newest entry into the game show category called "The Chair." First off the name of the show itself already brings out a bit of an ominous feeling about it. I mean when you think of "THE CHAIR", what comes to mind? Possibly the thought of a serial killer getting thousands of lethal volts of electricity poured through his entire body via the metal cap resting on the top of his head as he is uncomfortably strapped down in a wooden chair. Thankfully there are no char broiled corpses involved in this game. Contestants are required to sit in a 'special' chair surrounded by a wall of flames. Contestants' heart rates are monitored as they are inundated with questions by their host, the effervescent former tennis star John McEnroe. (enter numerous scathing sarcastic comments here.) It is definitely a strange concept. If the contestants heart rate happens to rise above a pre-determined 'rest' heart rate during the question round, the contestant will lose money for every second they are above that rate until their money has been depleted. As they complete various levels of difficulty not only are they bombarded with inane trivia questions, they are also subjected to what is known as 'heart-stoppers.' Heart Stoppers can involve many different things such as fireworks suddenly erupting from the exterior of "THE CHAIR" or vicious crocodiles being suspended from the ceiling mere centimeters away from the contestant in order to purposely instigate cardiac arrest from the contestant. I'm sad to say that I actually wasted an entire hour of watching this drivel in the hopes that an contestant might possibly require electric paddles to bring them back to life in order to finish the game.

The Fox network has also brought forth its bold attempt to the new genre of game shows as well. The new show is called "THE CHAMBER". (Note: Not to be confused with the John Grisham inspired blockbuster starring Chris O'Donnell and Gene Hackman) In this inspired battle of wits, contestants are required to answer trivia questions so that they may actually enter "THE CHAMBER." Privileged contestants who have been granted entrance to "THE CHAMBER" are required to sign a legal waiver and are securely strapped in to a foreboding stainless steel chair. Once the contestants are strapped in, they are sealed away into "THE CHAMBER" and subjected to an assortment of torture methods. Imagine your body strapped in a chair that is being rotated 360 degrees, bombarded with hurricane like winds, blazing flames surrounding you and also being zapped by muscle contracting nodes on your various body parts. On top of this, while you're being subjected to the various degrees of torment you actually have to answer more trivia questions! So while you're trying to wince through the pain of 3rd degree burns you also have to try to remember what the hell the name of that pig from Green Acres was. The only way to exit (or win) "THE CHAMBER" is to actually survive the 7 levels of torture, get two questions wrong, vocally state "I WANT OUT!" or apparently die a horrible death in "THE CHAMBER." I'm guessing that Fox has finally found the secret to getting big ratings…physical persecution of human beings! Yay Fox! What an enlightened society we live in!

These are the most recent examples of the current evolution of game shows. Others exist already. Fear Factor. Survivor. Temptation Island. All types of game shows that have evolved to a whole new level where the human psyche and physical condition are now part of the game. What scares me most is wondering what the heck can they do next? How much more risqué, challenging, or dangerous can they get? In five years will I be watching Yakuza Jeopardy where Alex Trebek will be rewarding wrong answers with the loss of fingers instead of money? The grand champion will be waving his arms in the air in celebration with only a pinky finger showing on either hand. It's a scary thought. Now if you'll excuse me, 'The Running Man' is on television. God I love that movie, Richard Dawson is an awesome actor.

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