How many times as a child did you deliberate over this topic? I can not tell you how many heated discussions I had with my childhood chums about this wish. To young boys this conversation is the equivalent of talking politics. I can still remember standing in a group listening to my friend explain the virtues of the power of super speed over that of being able to turn things to ice with a simple touch. And it could always only be ONE super power. We were quite strict on that. We never actually explained how we would get these powers but it was just assumed however they came about we were only getting one. No flying AND super strength, either-or buddy. Whatever wizard or gamma radiation we were being exposed to was only giving out ONE power. That's it. No point being greedy I suppose.
Now as I approach the age of thirty these types of conversations occur less frequently and have been replaced by the "What would you do if you won $10 million dollars" discussions. However, recently at my place of work, I overheard a few co-workers talking about this exact conversation. It caught my ear when I heard a girl ask the famous query "If you could have one, and only one super power what would it be?". After getting past the sheer delight that a woman was actually involved in this type of conversation, it made me reflect on my previous entries in similar discourses on this topic. Having not thought about this subject in quite sometime I pondered "what super power would I want?" (Additionally, also for a fleeting moment I pondered that I clearly have too much time on my hands.) Seeing as how I am now grown up and have a somewhat different perspective than I had when I was eleven, I approached this question in a new manner. What power would benefit us most in the real world? Seriously, let's once again assume we don't care how we get these powers, we just have them, but which ones would really be helpful? There aren't super villains and monsters that we would need to deal with…just imagine that we could have an enhanced ability in the world as we know it. Which one would help improve our life? Let's analyze shall we?
Heat Vision
This is somewhat of a parlour trick no? What good would it be to have
heat vision? So you are the guy who can light all your friend's cigarettes
and start fires on camping trips?
"No need for matches, Jason is here, he's got heat vision remember?"
I don't think having the ability to shoot heat beams out of my eyes would
improve my status in life, unless of course I was a welder perhaps. This
power clearly ranks near the bottom.
Super Strength
Though fundamentally cool what need would I have for being really, really
strong? Though I imagine there are some benefits to this power (moving
furniture and changing flat tires would be a breeze) there are few times
in my life where I think, damn this would be so much better if I could
just lift that huge friggin boulder. Outside of being able to impress
your friends, how many times can I really lift my car over my head before
it get pointless? To be honest, there are not a lot of activities in day
to day life that require lifting. And I can't say I arm wrestle often
enough to make this power worth it. I may have to pass.
Ability to Grow Super
Tall
Why would I want to grow as tall as a building? I would be a freak?!?!
What purpose would this serve? So what I can be the guy that puts the
star on top of that giant Christmas tree in New York? Alright…what
else? And wouldn't I be naked when I was tall? It's not like my clothes
would grow with me. "Oh god, there's that giant naked guy staring
into the Victoria Secrets head office 40th floor again" Super height?
Ahhh no. Apache chief can keep this one all to himself.
Aquaman's Powers
The ability to breath underwater and talk to fish. Aquaman doesn't even
want these powers…why would I?
Invisibility
Only naughtiness can be achieved from invisibility. Honestly, what else
would you do if you could turn invisible other then peep at girls changing
and rob banks? There is no good from invisibility. Like what else would
you do with it? Watch TV while invisible? Cook while invisible? Though
the peeping is a plus. This one is thumbs in the middle.
Flight
Now here's a power. First of all it would be fun as hell. I just can't
imagine you would ever get bored of doing this. But also you would be
able to travel anywhere you wanted cost free and you could totally avoid
traffic. "No need for a drive thanks, I'm fine, I'll fly!" Being
able to fly would be great and would actually benefit your life. Definitely
top of the list.
Telepathy
Another winner of a power but I preface this by saying only if you could
focus this ability. I wouldn't want to know what everyone was thinking
all the time. What a headache. This would be ideal and would seriously
give you an edge in life. Just imagine if you could know exactly what
someone was thinking, what they wanted to hear or what they really thought
of you. This would kick ass in job interviews, sales situations, and dating.
How uncomplicated would dating be if you could know what girls were really
thinking. Damn…that Mel Gibson movie was on to something! This is
another strong consideration.
So there you have it, the next time you are posed the eternal question "If you could have one super power what would it be?" you now have a fully thought out, rationalized answer. Flight or Telepathy. Clearly the two most beneficial super powers a man or woman could desire.
You know what…I
am pondering again…yup, it is settled, I do have far too much time
on my hands.
...but that's just
my opinion.
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