He asks gently "I was thinking after dinner
we could go grab a drink at Wild Orchid or something?"
She hesitates and then responds "Umm…if you want to?"
He notices the faltering in her speech and asks "Oh, is there anything
wrong, did you want to do something else?"
"Well, it's just, the last guy I was dating always used to take me
there and we got into a huge fight the last time we went…"
"Oh, that's cool…" Anthony exclaims. "We can go somewhere
else.."
The awkwardness is broken by the waiter's arrival. "Can I get you
something to drink?"
Anthony quickly picks up the menu and inquires to his date "Do you
want to get some red wine?"
"Red wine? Well…my ex boyfriend always used to drink red wine…"
she stammers.
Anthony stumbles for a moment as the waiter exits to give the couple a
few more minutes to make their decision. Desperately trying to regroup,
Anthony attempts to excuse himself. "Excuse me, I have to use the
men's room"
His words noticeably affect her as she looks nervously about the room.
Anthony leans forward and asks "Are you sure you are alright?"
After a long breath she continues "Well you see…this guy I used
to be involved with…always used the men's room"
Instantly a ton of bricks crashes down on poor Anthony's head…
Why are we constantly paying for the sins of ex boyfriends? It seems these schleps from women's past lives are always an obstacle in our way to establishing relationships. We can't go here, say this, or do that all because some other guy marked his territory previously. This can be quite frustrating. Some women refuse to give out their phone numbers because some bonehead in the past called her night and day. Now because some idiot before us dicked her around, we have to pay for it? It is impossible for some women to trust guys now because the previous asshole they were going out with didn't appreciate them and fooled around on them constantly. But who gets to the carry the baggage for this…yup, the new boyfriend. Is it really fair to generalize every man based off the actions of one bad egg you just happened to date?
These errors committed by past boyfriends can haunt all aspects of your relationship. From where you can go, what you can do, and even sexual actions in the bedroom. It is really disappointing that your sex life with your new partner can have limitations put on it because some other dude she was involved with was an insensitive pig. Thanks a lot Jackass…I have to do time for your crimes.
Once bitten twice, shy makes a lot of sense to
me. I understand that we all learn from past mistakes and if we don't
we are doomed to repeat them. However, we shouldn't make new mistakes
based off being clouded by the past. Instantly assuming that every man
you meet is exactly like your previous boyfriend is a horrible generalization.
And it is the type of generalization that is going to inhibit you from
ever moving on. If we have been hurt in the past, it is sometimes difficult
to open ourselves up to another opportunity for fear of duplicating the
same pain. But keep in mind they call it breaking up for a reason. Ending
a relationship means ending everything about that situation. We should
try harder to not carry the weight of the errors of all of our past experiences
into our new ones. A new relationship is a clean slate and should not
be judged by the past violations of our previous relationships. Regardless
of how bad some of our previous choices of partners were, we need to have
faith that our latest choice is a good one.
…but that's just my opinion.
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