What time is Big Brother's Survivor Island Cruise On?
This is how I think it all started. Mr. TV Executive leaves his home early Saturday morning to go out and get a bag of croissants and a couple of grande mocha latte frappo choochoo's. He stretches his arms out on the front porch and casually looks to the left at the elderly couple next door. They're sitting on the porch swing staring across their lawn at the early day's events unfolding before them. Mr. TV Executive throws a friendly wave at the couple and goes out to get his breakfast. It's the mid-afternoon and Mr. TV Executive is finishing his final lap around the lawn with his riding mower. He notices the elderly couple is still on the front porch swinging away. Early evening, Mr. TV Executive's miniature poodles are pulling him out the front door eager to make a deposit on the sidewalk. As he is being dragged to the nearest fire hydrant he once again notices that the elderly couple is back on the porch. Mr. TV wonders, "What the hell could be so damn interesting that keep's these people on the porch for so long and why aren't they watching the new Love Boat TV movie?" As Gigi and Fifi begin to follow the laws of nature, he looks around him and realizes the answer. He observes people stopping to talk to each other on the street, kid's frantically riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk, and families sitting at their dinner tables. It dawns on him that this couple is genuinely interested in watching people go about their daily routines. Normal everyday stuff. And why not? Its spontaneous, unrehearsed and there's a brand new show on every single day. Mr. TV thinks to himself, "What if I were to create a TV show based on everyday situations…and better yet, what if it was on a nuclear submarine?"

The "Reality Show" is the hot new genre to hit the television airwaves. It's a brilliant, yet basic idea that has television viewers across the country glued to their TV screens on a weekly basis. The concept is simple. Take a group of normal people who apparently have nothing better to do with their lives, put them in an unusual situation for a set period of time, give them a common goal and watch them destroy themselves in the process of reaching this goal. How could you not watch that? Due to the popularity of these programs, reality shows and now their sequels are quickly popping up all over the channels like a bad rash. Survivor2, Popstars, Big Brother2, Lost, Temptation Island2, The Mole etc., etc. There are no visible signs that the creation of these shows is going to slow down either. I predict, with my Nostradamus like powers, that eventually all television programming will be replaced entirely with reality based shows.

"Say Edna, you wanna watch that show bout dem dere 8 year old kids locked up in that tree house or do you wanna watch dat other show bout dose bikini models tryin' to climb Mount Everest?"

The common television viewing audience is going to be eating this stuff up like a hog at feeding time for years to come. The main reason for this is elementary. Every single person, deep down inside is a voyeuristic pervert. Admit it! You are! Yes, you! People love to watch other people involved in unusual situations. What make's these shows even more tastier is that they're "real people" and not Bob Saget or the Olsen twins trying to get that oversized wedding cake through the narrow kitchen door.

I'm sure anyone can remember walking down a busy street and coming upon a couple engaged in a heated argument. As this couple is arguing, they've built up an audience of inconspicuous bystanders listening to every word and awaiting to see the outcome of this impromptu soap opera. Perverts! Now if you could schedule this argument to happen once a week at 8:00 pm you would probably have the same audience watching again next week. Bam! Reality programming.

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